TWELVE

A bird cried out in the distance. Squall Leonhart slowly opened his eyes. The dim light of the pre - dawn sky added a blue cast to everything in the room. Squall shifted slightly beneath the heavy weight on top of him. The large blonde boy groaned, then climbed off Squall's slightly damp body and collapsed on the feather mattress, his back to the brunette. Squall closed his eyes and thought about what had happened between them last night. Squall's mind was in turmoil because of it. So was his heart. Squall knew Seifer was awake, but neither he nor Seifer spoke.

"Don't you have anything to say?" Squall asked finally.

Seifer rolled over, lying on his back. "What the fuck do you want me to say, Leonhart? Haven't I said enough? I've said all I'm gonna say." He said.

Squall was silent. He opened his eyes and looked over at Seifer.

Seifer's eyes were closed.

"Is that why you wanted to fuck me? So I would let you go?" Squall asked.

Seifer laughed. Then his lips curled into a snarl. "I don't even know why I fucking bother. It's gotta be the pussy." He said.

Squall pouted, then frowned. "It's my fault. It was a mistake, and it shouldn't have happened." he said. "What could I have been thinking?" He'd said it more to himself than to Seifer, but Seifer had definitely heard him.

Seifer's eyes opened and narrowed. Then he laughed loudly. It was a harsh, angry sound. He climbed over Squall's body and got out of the bed. He went to the table to retrieve his pants. Squall gazed up at the ceiling.

"Where are you going?" Squall asked.

"If I have to look at your fucking face a minute longer I might try to slit your fucking throat. What do you care, anyway?" Seifer said.

"I don't." Squall said.

"Then don't fucking worry about it, Leonhart. And don't bother following me." Seifer said.

Seifer grabbed Hyperion from the table and left the cabin.

Squall closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He had vowed that he wouldn't give in to Seifer, not to mention his own desires, but he had, and Squall couldn't deny that he had enjoyed every minute of it. Squall moaned slightly as he rolled over onto his stomach. There was a dull throb of pain at the base of his spine and despite the ache, it felt good. It was a reminder that he'd been marked, just as the mark on his neck was a reminder. Squall closed his eyes and licked his lips as he recalled how wonderful it had been to have Seifer's cock so deep inside him. Nothing had ever felt so good. Last night was unbelievable, everything Squall had wanted it to be and imagined it would be.

Still, Squall couldn't help but feel some guilt and apprehension. A part of him relished the fact that he'd had Seifer as he'd always wanted him, but another part of Squall felt foolish and ashamed. He'd failed to do his duty. He'd failed everyone, including himself, and especially Seifer. Some part of him thought that he should have tried harder to convince Seifer that it was a mistake, but there had been so little time for words or coherent thought. Once Seifer had touched him there had only been urgency and need. He and Seifer had never been good with words, and little had been said during their various couplings, but last night they had communicated on a level that surpassed anything either one of them could have voiced to each other. Seifer had been so hungry, and Squall had been unable to fight that hunger because he had felt it too. Indeed, it was a hunger that had been within Squall since he was a young boy. It was just so confusing because, Squall couldn't help but feel as though he'd come full circle in some way despite the guilt that nagged at him. He felt as though he had finally reached a place he should have come to long ago. Squall realized that he did indeed care about Seifer, very much - he always had in some way - and perhaps more now than was good for either of them.

Squall didn't know what to do. For the first time in a long time, Squall was unable to see an easy answer to the problem. He supposed he could let Seifer go. Seifer wanted that more than anything else. Squall supposed he could say that he had been unable to find Seifer or that the blonde had been killed. It would be easy to devise a convincing lie, and no one would question him simply because he was Squall Leonhart, the brave and wonderful Commander of Balamb Garden, the young man who had "saved the world". They would believe anything he told them.

Squall rolled over onto his back. A few moments later he rose from the bed. His body ached more than ever, but he did his best to ignore the aches and pains. Squall went outside to retrieve his clothing, and found them hanging in a nearby tree. His shirt was completely dry, but the pants were still wet. He didn't care though because he didn't want to be bothered with the confining leather garment anyway. Squall put on the tattered t - shirt and went back into the cabin. The remains of the ruffled gown he'd been wearing last night were still scattered about the floor, so Squall rummaged through the drawers of the antique dresser and managed to find a pair of long pants. They were women's pants, women's black pants that laced up the sides and at the front. They fit snugly, but they weren't uncomfortable. It was chilly, so Squall looked through the drawers for something to put over the makeshift outfit.

There was a pirate's coat in one of the drawers. It was red with gold buttons, a huge black collar, and giant black cuffs. As Squall slipped into the somewhat tattered garment, he again wondered who could have occupied the island before their arrival. Once Squall had wiggled into the coat, he slipped his feet into his motorcycle boots. He didn't bother with the radio. He simply grabbed one of the flare guns and headed outside. Seifer was no where to be found, and so Squall went to look for him.

It was going to be another beautiful day. The sky was already blue and clear and bright. The sun beamed down from above, and the jungle was alive with color and the motion of a million jungle creatures. Squall inhaled deeply of the sweet jungle perfumes. He moved through the dense growth and headed for the lake. He could hear the falls already, and the sound grew louder as he continued forward.

When Squall reached the lake, he stood still for several long moments and watched the enormous falls as they crashed down into the shimmering waters of the lake. Several of the antelope creatures were cavorting around the lake, either drinking from the watering or nibbling on the grasses along the lake's edge. There was a bright yellow Chocobo frolicking around beneath the falls, and Squall couldn't help but smile when he saw it. He hadn't noticed any Chocobo activity before, but then Chocobo were such secretive animals. There were probably hundreds of them lurking around, and they would go about their business without anyone noticing. Squall sighed, delighted by the beautiful scene. He supposed he liked the place, after all. He would be sorry when it was time for him to go.

Squall saw Seifer lying in the grass, beside the edge of the lake. He inhaled deeply before trudging through the lush grass and joining Seifer at the water's edge.

THIRTEEN

The blonde was lying on his back in the grass, staring up at the clear blue sky. There were no trees here, and so there was nothing to block the view. Squall looked up at the shining sun then looked down at the man who was lying by his feet.

"Seifer?" Squall said.

The blonde looked up at Squall but didn't say anything. Squall dropped down in the grass next to Seifer and looked out over the lake at the Chocobo playing in the water. The bird was splashing about, warbling loudly. Squall sighed heavily then looked down at the grass.

"What do you want?" Seifer asked. There was no anger in his voice. He simply sounded tired.

"I - I just wanted to apologize." Squall said.

"For what?" Seifer said.

Squall sighed and tugged at a blade of grass. "For everything." He said.

Seifer was silent.

For some reason, Squall felt as though he might cry. It seemed strange that he'd feel that way. The last time that he had cried about anything he had been a lonely, frightened child in Edea's orphanage. He hadn't even felt like crying when Rinoa had left him, and he thought he'd loved her. Then again, there had always been something rare about his relationship with Seifer. Now he thought he could understand what that was.

"A lot of things have happened between us that shouldn't have happened." Squall said.

Seifer sighed. "I knew I shouldn't have fucked you. If you didn't want me to you should have said so. I wouldn't have forced you." He said.

Squall shook his head. "No…Seifer…I don't mean that. I liked that, a lot. I wanted it to happen. I think I've always wanted it to happen." He said.

Seifer didn't say anything, but a slight smile curved his lips. He still didn't look at the brunette, but Squall watched him intently.

"I'm apologizing for everything that's happened between us. For the years at Garden, for Ultimecia, for…everything." Squall said.

Seifer shifted in the grass slightly. He moved one of his arms from behind his head and scratched at his bare chest. "You ever wonder what it would have been like if we'd known each other under different circumstances?" The blonde asked.

"Sometimes." Squall said.

"Maybe if we had grown up differently none of that shit would have happened. Maybe things would have been like they were supposed to be." Seifer said. He sighed and closed his eyes. He was silent for several long seconds. "You believe in Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden, Squall?"

Squall's big blue eyes widened. He was a bit taken aback by the strange question and he wondered in what direction the conversation was head. He knew the story vaguely, but he didn't see what it had to do with anything. "Do you?" he asked finally. No one believed that story. At least no one in their right mind, but this was Seifer he was dealing with.

Seifer shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not, but I believe there was a time, maybe even before the Centra civilization, when life wasn't so screwed up and so fucking complicated, when everything was pure and we didn't have so many fucking rules and all this fucking pointless civilization. I hate this fucking world, Squall, always have, always will. Maybe that's why I did what I did. I've never belonged, and although they tried to make me what they wanted, they failed. I tried to be what they wanted, but I just couldn't do it. Maybe I was born evil. Everybody always said so. My parents, our Instructors, everybody. Fuck. There isn't anything in that world for me, never was, but maybe I can forget all that shit…all that hurt and pain and unhappiness and start fresh. Yeah, I could stay here forever and never go back. Here I could be who the fuck I want and nobody would try to change me or hurt me or punish me for shit that ain't my fault. I won't ever go back." Seifer said.

"I won't try to take you back." Squall said.

Seifer was silent.

"I'll tell them I couldn't find you. They'll believe it." Squall said.

Seifer was quiet for several moments, then he turned to gaze up at the brunette. "I didn't sleep with you so you would let me go, Leonhart. Why did you think that? I'm not some fucking whore." he said.

"I didn't know what to think. I just didn't know. I couldn't imagine you…would want that from another man…from me…" Squall whispered.

Seifer chuckled. "Did you think I was just horny? Did you think I was just teasing you? Fuck, I've wanted you since my fucking balls dropped. Maybe even before then." Seifer said.

Squall was surprised by the confession, but it made his heart flutter. He closed his eyes to keep Seifer from seeing them water. Squall hated the feelings Seifer was causing within him, but he couldn't help it. He was tired of fighting his feelings anyway.

"I think I always saw myself in you, Leonhart. You were a misfit like me. You just did a better job of dealing with your anger I guess. I used to hate that about you. I wanted you to lash out at the world like I did, because I knew that's what you felt inside. It just backfired on me, or maybe it was supposed to be that way. Maybe we aren't the same after all."

Squall was silent.

"So now you know you were my Romantic Dream. I always thought we'd take on the world together." Seifer said. "I guess we did, but not the way I had always dreamed. You were always stronger than me in that sense."

Squall opened his eyes and gazed into the blonde's beautiful olive colored eyes. Squall could barely speak. "Will you be alright here?" He asked. His voice was quiet, strained.

Seifer looked back up at the sky. "Yeah. I'll be fine." He said.

"Will you? Seifer, if you come back I'll speak up for you. Perhaps, if I had spoken up for you before…" Squall said.

"Don't worry about it." Seifer said.

Squall nodded and he wiped at his eyes.

Seifer sat up and rested his weight on his elbows. "You could stay with me, you know?" Seifer said.

Squall felt his heart constrict. "I…I…c - can't, Seifer." He whispered.

"You don't want to. Just say it." Seifer said.

"I - I just c - can't." Squall said.

"Then I'll let you go." Seifer said.

The blonde leaned forward and kissed the brunette gently on the lips. He got up, dusted off his pants, grabbed Hyperion and walked off into the jungle. Squall watched Seifer go, and when Seifer's form disappeared in the thick green, Squall began to cry.

FOURTEEN

Ten days.

That's how much time had passed since the crash. Squall and Seifer had been stranded on the island for more than a week.

It was nearly noon, and Squall was just waking up. The bright rays of the sun filtered through the trees and beamed through the windows of the cabin. Squall wrinkled his nose and held his eyes tightly shut. He rolled over so that the sun wouldn't be in his eyes. He stretched, then opened his eyes. Squall groaned and threw the covers back from his scantily clothed body. He leaned over the edge of the bed and looked down at the blankets that were strewn about the floor.

Seifer had been sleeping on the floor because he refused to share the bed with Squall. He wouldn't even touch Squall if he could help it, and he avoided the brunette whenever it was possible to do so. In fact Squall hadn't seen Seifer for almost two full days, and he was beginning to worry.

Squall was at a loss as to what he should do. He'd tried several times to get Seifer to talk to him, but to no avail. Squall had thought the matter was settled, but he supposed he should have known better because he was as unhappy about how their conversation had ended as Seifer must be. The truth was that nothing had really been resolved, both he and Seifer were being stubborn.  Squall though about it often, and he still hadn't come up with any solution.  Every option that he considered seemed impossible.  It was like one of those situations where he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't.

Squall climbed out of bed. He raised his arms and stretched. He was wearing a knee - length tunic that he'd found in the dresser. He slipped on the pirate's pants he had found earlier, and then slipped his feet into his black boots. He raked his fingers through his glossy hair to pull out some of the tangles. His hair was starting to get out of control. It was already beginning to grow out of its style. Squall smiled slightly when he thought of how wild Seifer's hair had become. He wanted so badly to run his fingers through the blonde's locks, indeed he wanted to touch Seifer all over, but the blonde wouldn't let Squall anywhere near him, much less touch him. Squall often wondered if it wasn't for the best. After all, it was be so much easier to let Seifer go if he could forget how wonderful it had felt to be touched by Seifer.  Yet, Squall knew it was something he would never forget, and he could also admit that it was something he didn't want to forget. 

Squall went over to the table, but he didn't bother to check the radio. There was a small bunch of bananas lying beside the radio. Seifer had brought them two him a couple of days ago.  They had been green then, but now most of them were completely ripe.  Squall pulled one from the bunch, peeled it, and began to eat it. While Squall was munching on the delicious treat, Seifer suddenly appeared at the entrance of the cabin. Squall looked at the blonde and his heart fluttered. He'd been so worried about the blonde, and Seifer hadn't told Squall were he was going when he'd wandered off the other night. Seifer didn't say a word. He looked at Squall and sneered, and then he moved to the table. Squall stood up. Seifer slammed Hyperion down on the table. He was holding what looked like a potato sack in his hand. He began to fill it with some of the bananas.

"What are you doing?" Squall asked.

Seifer didn't look at Squall. He didn't say anything to the brunette either.

"Seifer?"

Seifer growled. "What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" he said.

"Where did you go, Seifer?  Where have you been all this time?" Squall said.

"Does it matter?"

Squall pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. "I was worried."

Seifer laughed. "Yeah. Right." He said.

Squall sucked his teeth. "Where are you going?" he demanded.

Seifer turned and glared at him. "What do you care, Leonhart?" he said.

Squall faltered slightly. He looked down at his boots. "I do." He said.

Seifer turned away. "I'm going to stock up on magic. I'll be gone for the rest of the day." Seifer said.

Squall looked up at the blonde. "You found a Draw Point?" he said.

Seifer nodded. "How do you think I cured your sorry ass the other day?  I found several Draw Points, real good stuff too. I'm just going back to get the rest, see if I can find any new ones.  " he said.

"Right.  I figured you still had a GF." Squall said.

Seifer was silent.

"What's its name?" Squall asked.

Seifer stopped abruptly.  He turned slightly and looked down at the brunette, anger twisting his handsome features.  "What's with all the fucking small talk, Leonhart? Just shut up, okay?  I don't feel like your bullshit today.  I'm outta here." He said.

Squall pouted. "Don't talk to me like that, Almasy.  I just asked a simple question." He said.

Seifer snarled.  "You ask too many damn questions.  This is my island.  You're not the Commander here." he said.

Squall looked heavenward.  "Whatever.  Where is this place, Seifer?" Squall demanded.

"Not too far." Seifer muttered.

"Fine, but you can't just go off alone." Squall said.

"Why not?" Seifer said. "I've done it a million times." He lifted the bag of bananas from the table with one hand and grabbed Hyperion with the other.

"I know, and I hate it. We should really stay together Seifer. It's safer that way." Squall said.

Seifer laughed. He sneered and glared down at the slender brunette. "I'm glad you're so fucking concerned, but I think I better get fucking used to being alone. After all, when you leave I'll be all by myself anyway. I told you I didn't need you.  I never needed you." He said.

Seifer turned and stormed out of the cabin, and although Squall wanted so badly to stop Seifer, he let the blonde leave. 

FIFTEEN

Squall regretted his decision to let Seifer go off alone.  Seifer didn't return, and Squall began to fear that he would never see the blonde again.  Squall had spent the rest of the day cleaning up the cabin.  When late afternoon had come around he had gone down to the lake to take a swim.  He was hoping that Seifer would have come and joined him, but he should have known better.  When Squall came back to the cabin there was still no sign of Seifer.  Squall wondered again if he would ever see the blonde again.  Last time, Seifer had disappeared for two whole days.  Squall waited for another few hours, hoping that he would see Seifer again, but still Seifer didn't return.  The waiting was just too much for the brunette, and he decided to go look for the blonde.

Squall had no idea where to begin looking for Seifer, so he just chose a direction and followed it.  He still had a few hours until the sun would set, so although the jungle had grown darker, Squall could still see without much difficulty.  Squall walked around for hours, but eventually he stumbled upon the sack of bananas that Seifer had taken with him.  The sack had been carelessly tossed aside.  Some of the bananas had been eaten and there were peels all over the ground.  There were also footprints in the soft earth, and Squall hurried to follow them.

As Squall continued on, following the footprints, the earth began to rise.  The trees cleared some, and he was soon making his way over a series of small hills. Squall noticed that that something about his surroundings  was changing, but it took him several minutes to realize what it was.  The animal and plant life in this part of the jungle was much larger than normal, and the atmosphere had gotten heavy like they were in the presence of great magic.  Squall watched in awe as a large lady bug, one that was almost the size of his hand, scampered up one of the bright green vines that hung overhead.  Despite the apprehension he felt, Squall went on, and eventually he came to a huge mound of earth that was surrounded by a thick cluster of extremely large trees.  There was a giant hole in the center of the protruding earth, and although it was completely buried within the earth, it looked like the entrance to a cave.  Squall could feel magic emanating from the interior.  The aura was extremely strong, so strong that Squall was nearly overwhelmed by it.  If there were Draw Points near by this would be a good place to look for them.  Indeed, Squall could see the prints left behind by Seifer's size 12's in the mud before the entrance.  Squall inhaled deeply and entered the cave.       

The atmosphere inside the cave felt thick and heavy.  It was similar to the atmosphere in the Deep Sea Research Center and other strange places like that.  Squall almost felt as though he was wading through water.  The cave was filled with several Draw Points.  A faint purplescent glow emanated from each of them and their combined light illuminated the cave with a warm lavender glow.  Squall had never seen so many draw points in one place.  Not even the Island Closest to Hell had had so many.  Squall moved forward and placed his hands over one of the churning magic spaces.  It was a draw point for the Ultima spell.  It was unusual in that it had an extremely large amount of the magic.  It was amazing really.    

Near the back of the cave were several Draw Points that were clustered together.  The light they created was blinding, but just beyond them Squall could make out a passageway.  He passed through the cluster of Draw Points and cautiously moved down the shadowed tunnel.  It was dark, so he couldn't see but a few feet in front of him, but it seemed as though the passage went some way down into the darkness.  The atmosphere was extremely heavy in this part of the cave, and it seemed to get even heavier further down the path.

There was no way in Hell that Squall was going any further, but as he turned to leave he thought he heard someone singing.  It was a woman's voice and she was singing about bottles of beer on a wall.  Squall was baffled.  There had been no indication that anyone was currently living on the island.  There was of course the cabin and the clothing, but all of those things were ancient, and they hadn't been used for some time.  Squall cautiously moved toward the loud, robust voice.  The tunnel was damp and dark, and Squall could barely see in front of him, but he only had to follow the voice of the woman as he moved down the passage.  The tunnel went down in a slope, but it wasn't too steep.  Soon the heavy darkness dissipated, and Squall could see a purple glow at the end of the tunnel.  Squall didn't know what to make of it, but he continued on down the path.

When he entered the small cavern the singing stopped.  The first thing Squall saw was Seifer laid out on the cold floor.  The blonde was bleeding from several cuts across his mid - section and a large, gaping wound in his forehead.  Squall gasped at the sight of his lover, unconscious on the floor, but that wasn't the only reason for his surprise.  In the center of the cavern was a large pile of treasure and gold, and perched atop the heap was a small woman.  She was ghostly pale.  Silky, black hair framed her face and cascaded over her shoulders in glossy waves.  She was clothed in a strange, gaudy dress, like something from the age of Victoria the Sorceress. She was also wearing a red pirate coat, not unlike the one that Squall had found in the drawer back at the cabin.  There was a black patch over one of her red eyes, and she held a long sword in one slender hand. 

"Who are you?!" Squall cried.

"I am Amazonia." she said.  "Who are you?"       

Squall was too stunned to speak. 

"You and your companion have disturbed my grave.  You must pay." she said.

"Just let me take him and leave." Squall said.  He rushed to Seifer's side and examined the blonde's wounds.  They were bleeding badly and they needed to be healed quickly.  Squall was frantic.  He didn't know what he would do if Seifer didn't recover.  He loved Seifer, and now he knew that the blonde meant everything to him.

While Squall was fretting over his fallen companion, the strange, crazed woman rose from her perch atop the pile of gold and pointed her sword at Squall's chest.  Squall immediately jumped to his feet and backed away.  The woman raised her sword and swiped at the gawking brunette.  Squall jumped aside and rolled out of the way.  He snatched Hyperion from where it had fallen on the floor and was on his feet in a flash, just in time to counter the woman's first strike. 

The woman was fast, and Squall barely managed to counter her fierce blows.  He hadn't held a Gunblade in his hands in days, and Seifer's Hyperion felt alien to him, so his attacks were stilted and sloppy.  The woman was powerful and fierce and strong, and she fought with reckless abandon.  She swiped at him again, and Squall cried out as her blade sliced through the flesh of his arm like it was butter.  Squall stumbled backwards, but managed to counter her next blow.  The woman spun around and sliced at the brunette again.  He dodged the blow, but the blade sliced through his tunic and caused a deep gash on his chest.  Squall lashed out at her, but she easily dodged to the blow.  She grinned evilly as she moved forward, forcing Squall to move backward.  The woman continued to slash and swipe at him vigorously, and Squall knew that if he didn't change his strategy soon he would be defeated by this fearsome foe.  Instead of simply blocking her blows then waiting for her to strike again, he took the initiative.  He struck three successive blows and managed to knock the woman off her feet.  She cried out in surprise, fell backward, and struck the ground.  Squall sliced at her with the Gunblade, and the cold metal edge pierced her body.  She screamed loudly, and then her body vanished.  Squall felt a jolt in his head as he watched the woman fade from reality.  She was trying to enter his consciousness.  

Squall stumbled backward and pressed his hand to his forehead.  He relented to the mental onslaught, and he felt the woman's spirit bury itself deep into his mind.  She was a GF, and now he knew her story. She had gotten stranded on the island many, many years ago.  She had been a pirate and she had come to the cave to hide her spoils before she died.  She perished in the cave, however, and the magic of the place had entered her body and transformed her into a GF.  Squall could understand the feelings that lingered inside of her.  She had also been trying to find some escape from a world that she did not fit into, and she had found her haven in paradise. She had spent many years alone and afraid, but now she belonged to Squall.

Squall dropped Hyperion and stumbled over to Seifer.  He was unmindful of his own wounds and the ache in his body.  Seifer was his only concern.  Squall shook the blond desperately, and Seifer's olive colored eyes fluttered open.  Seifer moaned loudly and tried to sit up, but Squall wouldn't allow it.

"Mommy......" Seifer groaned. "Ah, shit....what the fuck happened?"

Squall held Seifer close to him, unmindful of the blood that was spilling onto his white tunic.  "You're okay..." Squall breathed.  He kissed Seifer's lips fiercely.  

"There was....a crazy woman.  Fucking bitch.  She cut me." Seifer mumbled.

"I know.  She was a GF.  I defeated her." Squall said.  "Oh, Hyne, Seifer.  Hyne, I told you not to go off alone, and you expect me to just leave you here by yourself."

Seifer sneered.  "But that's what you're going to do, isn't it, Leonhart?" he said.  

Squall sighed.  "I told you I wanted you to come back with me.  You can't stay here alone, Seifer.  It's just too dangerous." Squall said.

Seifer didn't respond.  The blonde lifted his hand and placed it on his chest.  A blue light surged from his fingers and seeped into his body.  Squall watched as Seifer's flesh began to knit itself back together.  The wounds eventually closed completely.  Squall hugged Seifer to him tightly and breathed a sigh of relief.  Seifer began to raise his arms, but instead of embracing Squall he pushed the brunette away from him roughly.  He scrambled up from the ground and went to retrieve Hyperion.

"Shit!  What the fuck!!  Don't ever touch her again, Squall.  You damaged the fucking blade." Seifer said.

Squall uttered a sound of disbelief.  He stood up and glared at the blonde, hands on his hips. "I saved your life! Is this all you have to say?" he cried.

Seifer looked back over his shoulder at the gaping brunette.  "I could have taken her." he said.

Squall began to tremble. The hurt and anger was too much.  "I hate you Seifer, and I'll be glad when you're finally out of my life!  Go on!  I don't care anymore!  Do whatever the fuck you want!" he cried.

Squall ran out of the cavern, back up the passage way, and out of the cave.  He heard Seifer call after him, but he ignored the blonde as he ran through the jungle.  Hot, stinging tears, blinded his eyes, but Squall managed to find his way back to the cabin.  As soon as he got back inside he collapsed on the bed. He hoped to Hyne that he would be rescued soon, because he didn't think he could spend another day in this misbegotten paradise. He was tired, tired of it all, and all he wanted to do was sleep. Squall closed his eyes, and eventually the peaceful arms of sleep came to claim him.     

SIXTEEN

It was nighttime, and the jungle was dark. 

The interior of the cabin was lit by the warm orange glow from a kerosene lamp.  Squall shifted on the soft feather mattress.  He turned onto his back and opened his eyes.  He turned slightly to his right and saw Seifer sitting beside the bed in the rocking chair.  The blonde leaned forward and touched Squall's forehead.  Squall pushed Seifer's hand away and sat up.  His wounds had been healed, but he felt queasy.  There had been too much stress on his body over the past several days, not to mention all the stress that had been put on his mind.  It didn't help things any that his new GF was still stomping around in his brain.  

Squall forced the reluctant spirit out of his consciousness, and she went to dwell wherever it was that GF's went when they weren't being used.  The wounds from his battle with the GF had been as severe as the wounds he had received during his fight with the reptile, but he would eventually forget the pain they had caused him.  The pain that Seifer was causing was another matter altogether.  Squall looked at Seifer beneath his dark lashes.  The blonde smiled slightly, but Squall did not return the gesture.  He made a move to get out of the bed, but Seifer grabbed his slender arm in a firm grip.

"Wait.  I have something to say." Seifer said.

Squall sighed and pushed his lengthy bangs from his face.      

Seifer sighed.  "I - I'm s - sorry." he said. "Happy?"

Squall uttered a sound of disgust.

"C'mon, Leonhart  You gotta know how hard it is for me to say that." Seifer said.

"Fine.  Whatever.  I except your apology.  Now just leave me alone.  I don't want to be anywhere near you." Squall snapped.

Seifer frowned.  "No, you ain't leavin', not until I finish." Seifer said.

Squall sighed.

"Just listen, Leonhart.  Then you can go off and do whatever the fuck you want." Seifer said.

"I'm listening." Squall said.

Seifer looked down at his boots.  "I....I've decided to go back with you." Seifer said.

Squall's eyes widened.  Of all the things he had been expecting Seifer to say that was definitely not one of them. 

"B - b - ut, y - you said you wouldn't go back." Squall said.

Seifer looked up and a smirk formed on his lips. "I know, but what does any of this mean to me when you won't be here?  I would rather suffer in jail than live here, in this....paradise, without you.  There would be no point, Squall.  My life would still be meaningless, and this place would only make the pain harder to handle. 'Sides they'd probably come lookin' for me anyway." he said.  He smiled, but there was no joy in his eyes. 

"N - NO!" Squall shouted.  "They w - wouldn't....I - I - I'll tell them you're dead!  They'll never find you!"

Seifer closed his eyes.  He got up from the chair.  "It's already settled.  When they come we'll go back together.  They'll be coming soon.  I know they will.  " he said.

Squall scrambled up from the bed.  He grabbed Seifer's arms and clutched at them desperately.  He looked up at the blonde and saw a resolve there he'd seen few times before.  Squall was at a complete loss as to what he should say or do.  He'd mastered the art of decision - making, but never in his life had he had to make such a terrible choice.  One thing he was certain of, however, was that he could not allow Seifer to go back.  Squall opened his mouth to speak, but his lips could hardly form coherent words.  "I - I..............."

Seifer placed a hand against Squall's cheek.  "No.  Don't say anything, Squall, please.  It just wasn't meant to be.  Never was I guess." he said.  "J - just let me have you one more time before it's over, so at least I'll know everything I've gone through meant something. All I've ever really wanted was you. I did it all for you."  

Squall closed his eyes.  A tear rolled down his cheek and he exhaled a ragged breath when he felt Seifer's strong arms slide around his body.  He hugged the blonde fiercely, never wanting to let Seifer go.  But he would have to.  Squall couldn't see any other way.  

Tears began to fall from Squall's eyes as Seifer placed him gently on the bed.  He couldn't bare to look at the blonde, and he turned his head away as Seifer began to remove his clothing.  Squall had never felt so guilty or so unhappy, and even though his body readily responded to Seifer's soft caresses, the experience was bittersweet.

When both young men were completely nude, Squall felt Seifer's weight settle gently on his body.  He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms and legs tightly around the blonde.  He felt Seifer's body rise slightly, and then the world moved when Seifer's cock slid into his willingly body.  Their lovemaking was sweet and slow and tender, so much different than it had been that first night, but it wasn't any less intense.  Sweat and tears mingled on Squall's cheeks as Seifer made love to him, and more tears flowed each time the blonde kissed him.  It was over too quickly, yet at the same time Squall was relieved when it was finally done.  Seifer drifted off into sleep almost immediately, but Squall could not find sleep so, and he lie awake staring off into the darkness.     

SEVENTEEN

Squall gently squeezed his sleeping lover.  Seifer mumbled incoherently, but he didn't awake.  Squall smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Seifer's shoulder.  He sighed, closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against the hard muscles of Seifer's stomach.  He gently tugged at Seifer's navel and the big blonde moaned softly.  Squall sighed again. 

It would be so easy to live like this.  It would be so easy to give it all up.  It would be so easy to stay and say to the hell with it all, to live carelessly and free, but for some reason Squall just couldn't shake the feeling that to do so would mean he had failed.  He felt as though it would mean he had failed to do his duty, that he had failed everyone who depended on him, that he had somehow failed himself.

Squall had been a cold, icy mercenary for most of his life.  It had been against his nature to let himself get too emotional about anything, but he had changed so much in the last few years.  After the war Squall began to understand what it really was to live, he began to feel, to trust, to care.  He had friends now, and family, and many people depended on him.  He was a success in life.  He had everything, but he had never found true love.

Of course, he loved his friends, his father, and he could even admit that he loved his job, and those things meant everything, but so did the love he felt for Seifer.  Squall had never had a love so deep, and pure, and strong as the love he held for Seifer Almasy.  The love he felt for Seifer wasn't a new thing either.  It was something that had been years it the making. That love had always been there is some shape or form.  It had been a seedling, and time and circumstance had given it a chance to blossom. Seifer was right.  In the "real world" it seemed that their love could not flourish and it was like a seed having fallen in a barren garden, but in such a fertile place like this, it couldn't help but grow.  If he decided to go back, he would have a life, but it would be an unhappy one.  He would be terribly unhappy without Seifer, and he knew he would always regret not taking the second chance that Fate had given them. 

The world would go on without him.  He had touched many lives, and some of those lives would be affected by his absence, but the same people who loved him and would miss him were the same people who wanted so much for him to be happy.  Still, Squall wanted the same for them, and he didn't know if he could live with himself knowing that he had caused the others any unnecessary pain.  Squall wished that he didn't have to make such a hard decision.  Seifer had tried to make it for him, but there was no way Squall could have allowed Seifer to return after promising that he would not take him back.  He couldn't live with himself knowing that Seifer was rotting away in a dank cell because the justice system had failed him.  That would be just as bad as leaving Seifer behind.

There were just too many options, too many variations, and most of them had unfavorable outcomes. Squall wondered if he could have it both ways.  He wondered if it were possible to go back to the life he had known and still have paradise.  Perhaps he could go back.  It would be so easy to abuse his power as the Commander.  He could come back whenever he wished.  Squall was beginning to like this idea, but the more he thought about it the more problems he uncovered.  What if he was never able to find the island again?  What if someone discovered what he was doing?  What if something terrible happened to Seifer while he was way?  Squall sighed heavily and tightened his arm around Seifer's waist.  It was too much to think about, and he was tired of thinking.  He just wanted to sleep, and perhaps when he woke up he'd realize it was all a dream anyway. 

The moment Squall closed his eyes he was startled by a loud beep.  Dread and fear clutched at the depths of his soul as he sat bolt upright in the bed.  The loud beep sounded again, and Squall looked down at Seifer with wide blue eyes.  The blonde was still sleeping deeply, and it seemed that he had no heard the sound.  Seifer was as light a sleeper as Squall, but for some reason the blonde did not awaken.  Squall chewed on his bottom lip for several minutes as the beeping continued.  Then he scrambled out of the bed - quick as lightening and nude as a newborn - and walked slowly toward the radio.  He looked back at Seifer once before coming to a stop just in front of the table.  The radio continued to beep and flash, and Squall just stared at it, his brow creased as a deep frown formed on his lips.

"No......" Squall whispered.  "Please, not yet...."

And the radio continued to beep and flash.  It would be so easy just to ignore it, to let it go, but still Squall reached out a slender, slightly tanned arm, and flipped the switch.

*Buzzzzzzz*  *click*  No.......I've.............nothing.......here.....No sign.....Squall.....Ragnorok....this side is.....clean....Over*buzzzzz* *click*

Squall dropped down onto the bench.  He slowly wrapped his arms around his trembling body as he listened.

*Buzzzzzzz* *beep* .....nothing here........either......Quisty......shouldn't we.......ground troops.....Over...*buzzzzzz*  *click*

*Buzzzzzz* *click* .....no......I've......no.......signs....of life.....maybe interference.....but....I don't.....there's anything here........a storm is coming....better......back......Irvine we'll....resume.......search....later.....Over. *buzzzzz* *click*

*buzzzzz* *click* ........shit.......but Quistis......fuck......alright....I'm heading back.........Over *buzzzzzz* *click*

Then static.

Squall sat quietly for a very long time.  Eventually, he rose from the bench.  So many reasons to go, and so many reasons to stay.  Perhaps it was a decision he would never be able to really make, but he could be certain of one thing: he had finally found that place that all human beings long for.  He'd found paradise, and it existed in Seifer's arms.  It existed because of Seifer's love, and come what may he would always know that in his heart.  

Squall gingerly walked back to the bed.  He climbed back onto the feather mattress and climbed over his lover.  Seifer immediately wrapped his arms around Squall's waist as soon as the brunette got comfortable. 

"I love you." Seifer said.  He placed a kiss on top of Squall's shaggy head.

Squall smiled as he curled up against his companion.  "I love you more." he said. 

EPILOGUE

Quistis Trepe flipped the switch on the control panel and leaned back in the chair as the small plane switched to Auto - Pilot.  One more flight around the island.  There was no point really, but it was just to keep from arousing suspicion.  She lifted her cup of Mocha Balamb and blew on it slightly before sipping it.  She sighed and lifted her legs to rest on top of the control panel.  She removed the clip from her hair let the glossy blonde locks cascade around her shoulders.  

She had already come up with a good story.  Even she could believe it, so she knew she'd have no problem convincing the assholes from Galbadia and Dollet.  It would be easy.  

As the small plane flew in stealth over the tiny island one last time, Quistis casually watched the sensory monitor.  Amazing how so many things could be hidden in the jungle, and it would be impossible to see them all without the heat sensing capabilities.  Quistis still couldn't believe there were so many Chocobo nests on the island.  If she happened to look out of the window, she probably wouldn't even see a hint of the big, yellow birds.  There were many Draw Points too, more than she'd ever seen in one place before.  All of that was quite interesting of course, but none of that was as interesting as the heat patterns made by two particularly strange animals, animals whose patterns looked quite human.  Two warm bodies in very close proximity to each other, hidden within the heart of the jungle.  

Quistis cut off the monitor and took another sip of her coffee.  She closed her eyes and couldn't help the wide grin that spread across her face. The plane circled the island one last time, and then headed back to Balamb.       

THE *$#!&#*%* @ END

HOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!  BOOYA! So glad it's over, I thought I'd never get it done.  What a relief!

(finally, whew....)

I thought it turned out okay, hope you do too.  Awwwwwwww, I was trying to get 100 reviews, but looks like it ain't gonna happen.  Was it that horrible?  Heh.  It's okay though.  I enjoyed writing this, no sense in being review crazy about it.  I had so much fun.  Anyway, much thanks to everyone who reviewed this.  I really appreciate it. I want to give a special thanks to Redrum, Rinoa Redcloak, and Purple Penguin.  Glad it's all over, now I can go on to something else.  I'm gonna shove the chapters together eventually, and then I'll post them at the end.

***Notice: Now that it's done the parts have been shoved together.***

Paradise Found: Parts 10 - 17 + Epilogue

Miss Dincht

Missdincht @ aol.com

10/09/02

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