Missing
Author's Note: I always do these stupid plays on words things but if you like that kind of thing, then you’ll like this fic. I’m not sure if I really got Squall right in this fic, but I tried to make his POV humorous. And I find Seifer’s patience reassuring. ^_^ Hope you like!! Thanks to Morrigan for pointing out some baaaaaaad mistakes. And to Gackt for giving me a title. ^_^
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own FF8 but I do have that video camera in the closet *evil grin*
Missing
I glared at the red numbers on the alarm clock with one sleepy eye and shut the wailing machine off. No way in hell I was getting up this early without a good reason. I cuddled back into the warm blankets of my bed as I remembered the lunch I was supposed to have with Laguna. Damn that infernal alarm clock for reminding me.
I threw the covers off to the cool air of my room and sat up rubbing my face. I figured that I might as well shower and look good for lunch. If I didn’t Laguna would nitpick me to no end. So I got up and padded my way through the living room that adjoined my room to Seifer’s and to the bathroom. Holy shit! The mirror showed me that my messy brown hair was sticking out in odd directions, more chaotic than usual. I ran my fingers though it to get it to its usual, less disordered state. That was a little better. My gray eyes gazed sleepily into the mirror, trying to help me wake up. They made me feel more tired. Ugh.
I splashed some cold water on my face to get wakefulness to sink in, but I usually woke up in the shower. Shampoo usually got in my eyes and then swear words just roll right on out of my mouth. There's nothing like a good spot of soap in your eyes every morning to get that last bit of sleep out of you.
I sighed and went back out to my room, dripping hair and towel around my waist, and watery stinging eyes from that damn shampoo. I passed Seifer who was dressed and ready for another boring day in the office, sipping coffee in the kitchen area. He nodded a greeting and I felt his eyes following me as I waved with a yawn. Whatever…
After shutting the door to my room, I slipped my usual leather pants on and a random shirt, gray today, lighter than my eyes. Maybe it would lighten my attitude too. Fat chance. Laguna never liked my pessimistic attitude. I never meant it to be like that, it just came out that way. Sometimes I could be far too honest with people when I only wanted to be honest with myself. And no one could ever see me the way I wanted them to.
Take that whole war with Ultimecia we fought recently for example. They pegged me as the hero and I had no idea what I was doing, I never know what the hell I’m doing. It all ends with a whole bunch of lucky accidents, but everyone seems to think otherwise. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic and paranoid, maybe I’m just too self critical, but I honestly don’t think I’ve ever done anything completely right my whole life. I’m a huge klutz for one. Sure, when it comes to fighting I’m a god. I know exactly how to fight and grapple, but anything else and I’m a huge moron. I, Squall Leonhart, am not the hero or commander everyone thinks I am. I’m just really good at hiding it! Trust me, it becomes second nature by accident. Lucky accidents again, sheesh.
The one who should’ve been commander was Seifer, though in the end we shared the title. He was cool, contemplative and knew exactly what he was doing every moment of the day. I swear he could do anything if he had the time and patience. His patience could outweigh mine any day. I’m not really that patient, I just think so much that it looks as though I am. And my patience was wearing thin as a comb tried to rake through my unmanageable hair. I ended up just throwing some gel in it and walking out into the hall. Scads of people greeted me I just nodded as usual in reply. Rolling my eyes would be too rude. At least I could control myself. I am the pessimism to my father’s optimism.
I tried to take and upbeat attitude as I rode the elevator to my shared office. There wasn’t much to look forward to. Seifer and Selphie were my only amusement, and Seifer was less annoying than he used to be and the most amusing. It’s not that I liked his sexual innuendos or his teasing me, but you know, sometimes he was right and that I should just laugh at myself. At least had become a lot more professional after retiring his romantic dream and finally graduating as a SeeD. He’d changed a lot. The only thing about him that didn’t change was the fact that his attitude was just as persistent as ever.
Seifer could also bring me out of a bad mood. He was the only other person that really knew me. He understood my feelings when I caught Rinoa cheating on me. I came back from a mission with him to find the wench in our suite riding that damn cowboy on the dining table. Seifer, now my best friend comforted me, told me that I didn’t need her. He was right. I never really loved her anyway. I just couldn’t trust her anymore.
I entered the office to find Seifer sitting at his desk, glasses on his nose, looking at some papers strewn on his desk. He only wore the glasses for reading, but they looked cute on him. I blinked at the thought and glanced at Selphie who was leaning over his shoulder reading whatever was on the paper. I absently wondered what I’d missed.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I shut the door.
“Invitation to the Kinneas – Heartily wedding,” Seifer replied sounding bored. He looked up at me. I stared at the wall to my left. I particularly didn’t want to think about her. We’d had a talk and agreed on our drifting relationship. She’d left with Irvine a week after I’d found them together. They’d returned to Galbadia and to me, that was that.
“I can’t believe they’d have the gall to send us an invitation.” The little brunette frowned at the paper. Selphie had never gotten involved with Irvine and that I was very glad about. She’d had a crush on him and told me how it had hurt her, but in the long run, she was better off not knowing how much it could have hurt.
I strolled to my desk and flopped into the comfortable chair, avoiding their inquisitive looks. I didn’t want to deal with this today. Lunch with my father was bad enough, but a wedding between my ex-fiancé and that damned cowboy? Please Hyne make it all go away.
“We don’t have to go.” Seifer told me and I looked over. We, which meant he was behind me. At least someone was. God, how did my life get so completely screwed up? As I stared at his concerned face I wondered where the hell I went wrong.
“Yeah, we’ll have our own wedding. Leonhart and Almasy to wed.” Selphie put her hands out as if outlining a sign and laughed. “They’d shit their pants!”
Seifer laughed and I smirked. That did sound amusing.
“We should.” The blonde grabbed a piece of paper.
“We should what?” I asked approaching his desk.
“Make a phony invitation and see if they come to see us wed.” He snickered. “It’ll be fun!”
“That’s rude.” I rolled my eyes. We were commanders of Balamb garden, trying to play a joke on old friends. They probably wouldn’t care anyway.
“That’s the point!” Selphie put her hands on her hips. “Are you going to stand there and let them rub it in your face?”
“I don’t care what they do as long as they're happy and far away from here.” I slumped into my chair again.
“Hyne, you’re so damn selfless!” Seifer stood and stared at me. “You need to like, have an epiphany or some shit and get your damn life together. Find out what makes you happy, not others.” He poked my chest to get his point across.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “I like your aggressiveness.” I winked. Selphie burst out laughing and Seifer ruffled my already messy hair. Our flirtatiousness hardly ever left the office or our room and was only teasing. At least that’s what I thought.
“Stop hitting on me.” He smirked at me. “I might loose control.”
“You should. He needs a good one, up the ass!” Selphie smacked Seifer’s round butt. I had to admit, it was a nice butt.
“Hey! That’s private property!” Seifer turned and started to bicker about his ‘bubble’ with the little girl. While they had their little spat, I began to think about what he’d said. Figure out what makes me happy or find out what I was missing.
Just as my thoughts dwelled on that, Seifer glanced over at me, his green eyes sparkling brightly. He smiled and patted Selphie on the head before approaching me. “You sure you don’t want to do the invitation thing?” he asked.
I thought for a moment. I’d never done any practical jokes and this sounded like fun. Maybe I should go along with this. I smiled at the horror I imagined on Rinoa’s face. She’d faint if she heard that the ex-rivals, her ex-boyfriends were getting married. Maybe she would be supportive; that would be scary.
“Alright,” I replied holding out my hand, “I’m in!”
Seifer shook my hand. “You won’t regret it Leonhart!”
I had a feeling that this would the most amusing experiment in my life. But first I had to suffer through lunch with my father.
Seifer was right, I spend far too much time in my head rehearsing my internal monologues. When I open my mouth though, it never sounds anything like what I thought. My mouth has a mind of its own, and I haven’t yet figured out whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. So I’d kept my mouth shut during lunch and returned to the garden feeling good and to a hyper Selphie holding an envelope.
“Lick the envelope!” Selphie held it out to me. I glanced at its elegant design and assumed it was the phony wedding reply and invitation to ours. I licked one side, before she turned and had Seifer finish licking the adhesive. She then closed it.
“Blech!” Seifer complained about the taste of the adhesive and looked at me with an evil grin. He grabbed my skull and trailed his tongue slowly up my cheek. “Much
tastier.”“Gross!” I wiped the slick drool off of my cheek as Selphie giggled.
“Here it goes!” She dropped it into the mailbox and we all reveled in our evilness. “When do you think it will get there?”
“In a few days.” The blonde shrugged.
“I can’t wait!” She bounced around happily then back toward the garden.
“Neither can I.” Seifer winked at me and we followed the bubbly girl back to the
doors.When Seifer and I walked through the doors, we found Quistis and Zell in hilarity and Selphie bouncing around happily. She must have told them our plan. It was a good plan, a damn funny one too.
“You two are a couple now?” Quistis asked through her giggles.
“Rinoa’s gonna shit her pants!” Zell collapsed onto a bench still chuckling.
“Odd, that’s what Selphie said too.” Seifer put an arm around my shoulders. “In any case, we should probably go practice before the two lovebirds come to visit.”
“What makes you so sure they’ll come?” I asked.
“Oh, they’ll come.” He smirked. “And they might not be the only ones.”
The other three lapsed into hilarity once more as I was led away, red faced, by the most eligible bachelor in the garden.
“Just touch it would you?”
“That’s disgusting!”
“Everything’s disgusting to you.”
“Well its definitely gross.”
“Would you just get it out already?!” Seifer yelled at me to clean the gook out of the sink.
I finally rolled my eyes and grabbed one of those yellow rubber gloves to fish out the crap in the bottom of my sink. I threw it in the garbage along with the glove. Hell would have me before I put that thing on again. Seifer just rolled his eyes and flopped onto the couch.
Seifer and I had been roommates for a year now and I always had to clean crap for him. I guess since I was shorter and cuter (he pointed out both) I had to be the chic and clean things. I got used to the arrangement, but I never liked it. At least it was something to do… I guess… whatever…
The blonde patted the spot beside him and grinned. Like hell I was gonna sit next to him. He’d been like my shadow for the past three weeks. Two weeks after we sent out the letter, another returned in it’s place saying that they would come to visit up in two more weeks. We had one week left to look like a couple and it was difficult. Well, I was being difficult.
I hated being teased, so I didn’t like seeing other people go through it. I didn’t want to rub it in their faces, even if I did dislike them. I’m just not that kind of person. The only reason I agreed to stay with it was because of the dismay I saw on Seifer’s face when I told him I didn’t like what we were doing. I’d rather hurt them than hurt Seifer. Ironic huh?
I flopped down beside the blonde and rested my head on his chest as he put his arm around me.
“You won’t have to do this after they're gone,” he told me.
I frowned. Why did he say that? I knew that! “I have to get used to it, and I’m just tired,” I explained. Seifer had kept me up late trying to pry things out of my skull saying how I should surrender to the epiphany that was gonna hit me. Well FedEx hadn’t delivered it to me yet. I guess they were in short supply. Damn.
He nodded and watched some cartoon on the television as my mind wandered.
“Where are they going to stay?” I asked suddenly, wondering if they’d made accommodations.
“Your room.”
“My room?!” I sat up. “Why?!”
“We sleep in one bed, remember?”
There are tons of rooms in Balamb-G. Did we have to be so believable?
“It’s not like we’re gonna pretend to screw while they stay here, though it would be fun.” That feral grin slid across his face. It made my face feel warm as I blushed.
“Only if you don’t sleep with that stuffy,” I recovered, confident in my jibe.
He only smiled wider. “That’s what I’ll have you for.”
It was going to be a long week.
On Friday night we moved all of my belongings to Seifer’s room. We both didn’t have much so everything fit perfectly. It was like we’d been living together in that room for some time and seemed flawless. It was sort of scary. Quistis and Zell voiced the same
opinion.“Nah, it just means that Squally and I were meant for one another.” Seifer ruffled my hair like a child. I stood there and blinked feeling very out of it. I didn’t belong here, but it somehow felt right. My instincts were always right, I hated that fact at the moment.
Once the other three left, wishing us luck, I felt a little more comfortable. I sat down on the bed. Our bed. Whoopie… whatever…
“You sure you wanna go through with this?” Seifer asked.
“No, but like you said, I gotta learn how to live.” I looked back at him. He was standing past the other side of the bed still folding my clothing and putting it in the drawers of his dresser. His green eyes were trained on me, probably analyzing me.
An idea hit me and I walked over to him, staring into his eyes. They weren’t just green; they were a light sea green with blue flecks in them. The color reminded me of the ocean. My gaze traveled up to his hair. I contemplated for a moment realizing that it reminded me of the sandy beaches of the Balamb Island. If you put fins on Seifer, he could be a natural mermaid. Merman, I told myself.
I blinked when I realized I was three inches away from his face and turned red. “I’m s-sorry. I just got this idea…” I trailed off looking down and stepping back.
“No, what is it?” Seifer stepped closer to me and lifted my chin. “Tell me.”
The finger on my chin made me nervous but I explained my actions anyway. “Well, couples have pet names and stuff for each other right?” I watched him nod. “Well I needed a close up look at you. Your eyes, they remind me of the sea, and your hair of the sand.” I took a breath and inhaled his scent. “You even smell like the beach.” Damn, what kind of shampoo did he use?
An affectionate lopsided smile appeared on his face. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Well, you're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious,” he said. I didn’t think my eyes could get any wider or that my face could get any redder. I don’t think the grin on his face could go any wider either.
“Were you just fucking with me or are you telling the truth?” I asked suspiciously.
“You tell me.” He winked and turned to put the clothes he’d been holding in the
drawer.“Is that what you’re going to tell them?” Damn, his description was better and sexier than mine. At least mine was from the heart and not a pickup line.
“Your hair is a mass of chestnut crystals, your eyes are the crystals of ice that hide your real personality, the one that only I see. You voice is like daggers stabbing into my back, until you say something that comes from the heart, and then it’s a fire that alights in my chest. Beneath that ice there is massive flame waiting to emerge, and I will be the one to let it all out.” He turned to me. “If that’s alright with you.”
Why did he have the ability to leave me speechless, my mouth dry? “Where do you come up with this stuff?”
He shrugged. “It just kinda flows.”
“Wish I could do that.” I flopped down onto the bed, spread eagle. His bed was softer than mine. Jealously flared through me and my eyes narrowed when I realized I’d have to go back to a bed that would have held two of the people I don’t trust anymore.
“You can have my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” The blonde walked out to the living room.
“What?” I followed him out. “Why?”
“Well I get up earlier than anyone in this who garden. It’s not like we really have to sleep in the same bed.” He opened the fridge and scrounged around. “They’d never have to know.” He pulled out various ingredients. It looked like he was going to make curried rice. Yum.
“What happens if they find you on the couch?”
“I’ll tell them we had a fight.”
“They’ll get suspicious.”
“What?”
“They’ll expect us to yell. Well, at least you to yell.” I smiled at his confused
gaze.“I didn’t think you’d be into this,” he replied pulling a pot out of the cupboard.
I strolled over to him. “Well we have to make this believable.” I bit my lip and shrugged. “May as well make it look damn good while we can.” A smiled crept across my
face.He returned it and leaned over the counter to me. “Is that so?”
I sat on one of the stools on the opposite side of the counter and nodded. Hell, why not?
“Well,” he ruffled my hair again, “sweetie, white wine or red tonight?”
“Stop messing up my hair.” I glared.
“You can’t tell if its messy or not.”
“Don’t touch my head.”
“Can’t guarantee that babe.” He winked and my hand smacked my forehead. “Look, just play along while we’re alone and you’ll have it all down by the time they get here.”
“This is one helluva joke,” I muttered. He smirked at me but his eyes didn’t seem to agree with it. No one can shield their eyes like me and I know when someone’s eyes betray them, especially Seifer. I let it go for the moment. I don’t like teasing people and I had a feeling he didn’t want to tell me his misgivings about this joke.
“Comfy?”
“Cozy,” I replied. Seifer’s bed was a queen-size, which meant it could fit two people a comfortable distance apart. I swore I would steal this bed as soon as Rinoa and Irvine left.
After a dozing spell I started awake feeling cold. Seifer hadn’t stolen the blankets or anything. I just lost heat easily. My bed had an electric blanket and I contemplated getting it while shivering.
“You alright man?”
“Just cold.” I tried to stop shivering but my muscles didn’t seem to want to listen to my brain.
“Commere.”
I felt a warm arm wrap around my waist and drag me back to a warm body. I froze. I had no idea what the hell to do.
“Relax, I ain’t gonna butt-fuck you or anything.” He yawned. “Not yet anyway.”
“That’s so reassuring.” I rolled my eyes and positioned my head on his pillow comfortably.
My next coherent, or slightly coherent thought was when I woke up the next morning. I’d never slept so soundly, or felt so warm when I woke up. Then again, I’d never woken up with my limbs intertwined with Seifer Almasy’s. I opened my eyes to see the blonde’s collarbone. During the night I must have turned around. Then I noticed the fact that our arms were around each other. How the hell did that happen?
My heart began to pound in my ears as embarrassment swept through me. Seifer shifted in his sleep and held me tighter. I tensed.
“Relax,” he breathed into my ear. “You have to trust me.” The air tickled my ear and made me shiver.
“I do trust you.” I wasn’t lying, I was just afraid.
“I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you.” As he said this, the hand that wasn’t stuck under my body began to rub circles on my back. I leaned into his body as mind began to relax.
“Do you want a backrub?” he asked.
No, just being with him was enough. I blinked. Where the hell did that come from? “No, that’s alright. I better go take a shower.” A cold shower…
He snorted. “Can I come?”
“I don’t think you could help yourself,” I replied snidely.
Seifer laughed and pulled away from me to see the grin on my face. “Leonhart, you’re full of surprises.”
“Watch out Seifer, I might start to like this,” I replied as I sat up. An unnamed look flashed through Seifer’s eyes and before I could discern it, it vanished and he smiled making me forget what I was going to ask.
“We should really do this more often.” He watched his finger absently trace my knee. “I’ve never gotten better sleep.”
I gazed at him as he turned red when he realized what he was doing. I smiled. “Me neither.” I could have laughed at the innocent shock on his face as I stood to go to the bathroom. “Just let me get used to this alright?”
He nodded. “This will be the prank of a lifetime!”
Was it wrong to hope this would be more than just a joke?
I’ve lived in Balamb-G for a long time. It’s sort of lame to be all lovey-dovey in the hallways. Or at least that’s what my opinion on very open couples was. I think that’s why Rinoa left me. She couldn’t get inside me, couldn’t get me to show much or get me to fully trust her. I never really gave her what she wanted. In the end, I guess she found what she was looking for. Whatever…
But the point I’m making is that she’s one of those open people who would express their love to the heavens. I’m not and that’s why I felt odd standing next to the directory holding hands with Seifer. Why couldn’t I be somebody else right now? I couldn’t believe it was already Sunday morning.
“Squall?”
I looked up at Seifer. “What?” He looked concerned.
“You alright with this?” He put his hands on my shoulders. “I know you forgave them, I was there when you guys talked. But…” he trailed off and put a hand to my cheek.
I searched his sea green eyes wondering what he held back behind them. “It’s alright,” I replied as his thumb caressed my cheek. I stared at his solemn face and out of the corner of my eye I saw Rinoa and Irvine enter the building. I wondered if Seifer was doing this for their benefit or if he really felt something for me.
Before I could think about the subject any longer, Seifer leaned down and laid his lips upon mine. I froze; I didn’t know what to do, no clue as to how to react. But when his arms wrapped around my waist, I gave up and surrendered to it. Call it a lapse of sanity, but it felt so good to be held by someone, someone I trusted with my life. My arms wrapped around his neck as I started to kiss him back. It was incredible, even if it was a joke…
When Seifer ended the kiss, I felt slight disappointment but pushed it away for the sake of the fiancés who had come to see us. I gazed into those oceanic eyes again and caught a glimpse of something before I saw the shield behind his eyes rebuild and hide away whatever he’d been thinking. We kept our arms around each other’s backs as everyone
approached.Selphie was walking along with the couple wearing Irvine’s hat while Quistis and Zell were behind the three of them. Rinoa and Irvine were holding hands waking and talking to Selphie who seemed to be more excited than she’d let on about seeing them. She chattered nonstop before they reached us at the directory. The image of her chattering reminded me of a squirrel and made me smirk.
“Squall! Seifer!” Rinoa called and let go of Irvine to hug us. She’d dated both of us, she had a right to hug us and miss us. I had to be honest; I missed her amusing insights. She prattled on to us about how she’d missed us and we did the usual catching up thing. I let Seifer do most of the talking. I’m not much for talking.
After we were all reacquainted, Seifer and I took the couple back to our suite and let them get situated in my room. Seifer departed to stock out fridge with food leaving them with little old me. Irvine seemed very uncomfortable and I could understand why. Although this was supposed to be a joke, I’m not the joking type, so I wanted Irvine to feel at ease with us. I’m too nice for my own good, even though I don’t seem like it.
I grabbed a deck of cards and invited him to play something. After two hours, we were laughing our asses off and Rinoa was giving us weird looks from the kitchen area. Though I liked hanging out with Seifer more, he was more fun.
“What are you talking about?” Rinoa asked.
“The time I dreamt I was a moron,” I told her.
“You mean Laguna.” She grinned.
“What a dork.” Irvine shook his head and gathered the cards again.
“I can’t believe he’s my father.” I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t think anyone else can.” Rinoa giggled.
Suddenly Seifer walked in the door with two bags of groceries and stared at us. Irvine was stopped in mid shuffle, and Rinoa was caught in mid-lean toward me, about to ask me a question. He blinked and kicked the door shut without a second thought and went to the kitchen. I shrugged and Rinoa sat in the chair next to me.
“How long have you two been together?” she asked.
Shit, we hadn’t discussed that. I looked to Seifer who obviously wasn’t listening while he reached into one of the bags and pulled out a bottle of something. I squinted to read the label – Kiwi Flavored…
I swear my eyes popped out of my head when I read what the bottle’s writing said. It was lube; Kiwi Flavored Lube! The temperature of my body rose and I heard Irvine choke and cough on the soda he’d taken a swig of. Rinoa’s hand was on her mouth, her eyebrows raised in shock.
I coughed involuntarily as images raced through my brain and Seifer gave us a nervous glance, realizing what he’d retrieved. He grabbed it and slipped in his coat pocket discreetly and looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry.”
Sorry? SORRY?! The desire to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze conflicted with the desire to congratulate him upon astonishing our guests. I’d wanted to get them back with a sexual zinger but he beat me to it. Damn him.
I stood and nodded stiffly at ‘our’ bedroom. The blonde looked at me blankly and followed me in. I leaned on his desk, my back to him as he closed the door.
“What the hell was that?” I hissed and turned to him.
The blonde grinned wolfishly. “Didja like that?” He looked like a kid who had just started an ant on fire with a magnifying glass.
I pointed at him. “You are so lucky that my gunblade is in the closet near the door and not in here or you’d already be dead.”
“Babe, if you really wanted to kill me, I’d have been dead the second I set this on the counter.” Seifer pulled the little bottle out of his pocket and set it on the desk. He then pinned me against the desk. “Don’t tell me I embarrassed you Leonhart.”
I frowned. Was he trying to one up me? And Hyne, did he have to stand so close? We were almost nose-to-nose. I opened my mouth to say something but was stopped by his lips pressed upon mine; they were soft and sweet. His arms wrapped around my body again to keep me from collapsing and I was suddenly swept up in a current that was rushing through my body. When his lips left mine, I gasped shakily. He looked nothing worse for wear compared to my uncertainty. I stared at him afraid to move again and for fear that I might fall over.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I mumbled.
“You’re right.” Seifer put a hand to the back of my head and kissed my forehead. “But, as soon as you find what’s missing, you tell me huh?” He smiled and stepped back.
I took a few breaths and a moment to collect myself then stood straight, hoping that I could still walk. I was so confused by the feelings scattering through my brain. “Why do you do that to me?” I muttered and started for the door. Why was he always trying to throw me off?
“Squall.”
My hand stopped just above the door handle. He never called me by my name. I glanced back. Seifer was leaning on the corner of the desk watching me, his blue-green eyes washing over me like the ocean I’d made them out to be.
“Yeah?”
“Because I know you.”
My hands fell to my sides. He did know me, like I knew the edge of my blade. “Why did you kiss me?”
“You told me to.”
“What?” I heard him push away from the desk and his light footsteps pad toward me.
“Your eyes, they told me,” he whispered in my ear. “They turned as blue as the sky, and told me you needed to be free.”
I glanced up into the mirror that hung on the back of his door into what were once again stormy gray. He rested his head on my shoulder and I glanced at his reflection. As his arms wrapped around my waist, I felt my knees go weak, and my eyes began to change to a light blue. He knew me so well that he could appeal to my feelings. I’d begun to forget that I even had any in the first place.
“Are we still going to have dinner with them tonight?” I asked suddenly remembering our guests past the door we stood behind.
“Yeah, Selphie got us a reservation in the town.” Seifer’s hands slid off of my body and he stepped back. I glanced in the mirror at him. He looked like he was waiting for something, maybe for me to move away or through the door.
“I’ll tell them.” I opened the door, walked through and closed it behind myself and leaned on it.
Hyne…
I was so stupid.
Dinner was quiet and delicious. The servers were very conversational also which I found odd, but anything for a tip eh?
Rinoa and Seifer were very talkative. Irvine was devouring his food like there was no tomorrow and I was still unnerved by the whole bedroom thing so I was pretty silent through the whole meal. They basically talked about all the things that they’d missed and had done in the past two years. I hadn’t done much. What was there to do? It was the same routine everyday.
Life was just as boring as before… I wished we hadn’t let it get that way. Cid didn’t send us on missions anymore because most SeeDs were capable to handle things, and nothing was so dangerous as they had been. I just longed to change my life somehow. I wanted to do something that I liked, something crazy, anything, for me.
“Something wrong?” Seifer asked. We were standing in the entryway of the restaurant, waiting for the other two fiancés who had volunteered to get the car we’d rented from Balamb.
I shook my head in reply, my eyes stayed glued to the shop across the street. It was selling various sorts of seashells and oceanic things. I knew for a fact that I could find all of the things they sold at the shop on the beach near Balamb. People were just too lazy to find things themselves or were tourists. I had the sudden urge to go to the beach and collect seashells, like I’d done when we were kids.
Seifer waved a hand in front of my face and I blinked, then turned to him and said, “Let’s go to the beach.”
The blonde frowned thoughtfully before he smiled. “Alright.” Seifer strolled out the door and was met by the car driven by Irvine. He spoke to the redhead and waved me to come
out.Before I knew it, I was sitting on the sandy beach, watching Seifer teach Rinoa how to skip rocks. Irvine was off to the side with his hat on his face, I assumed he was dozing. Boy it’d be funny if we left him until the tide came in. I smirked at the thought.
Gazing out over the ocean made me miss the other three we’d left at the garden. I had the childish urge to light fireworks but decided to stroll along the water’s edge instead. After going a fair distance, I saw something glittering under the water in the evening sun. My hand reached through the water and tugged on the piece in the sand. It was stuck. I crouched down and dug out one side of a mid-sized abalone shell. I rolled my pants up and waded forward into deeper water, washing it out. When it had been cleaned out I turned it over receiving a rainbow shine from the inside.
“Wow,” Rinoa waded over to me. “Its gorgeous.”
I handed it to her and she admired it as Seifer approached.
“Cool,” he replied when Rinoa held it up to him. “Can we whack Irvine over the head with it?”
Rinoa giggled and I smirked. “His head might break it,” I said.
“In that case,” the blonde took it from Rinoa, “you better keep it.” He closed my hands around the shell and his eyes sparkled like the water we stood in. “Come on.” One of his arms snaked around my back at led me out of the water. “Let’s watch the sunset.”
I was enamored by the thought of watching the sun disappear from the horizon while sitting in the comforting arms of my best friend. Seifer was behind me, his arms around my waist and his legs spread to either side of me. I leaned back on his chest, my arms resting on his slightly bent legs. And in that moment, I was happy.
The cool breeze fluttered across my skin and I turned to look at Seifer. He was gazing out at the sea. His hair ruffled a little in the breeze, and that one strand that never really conformed was resting above his forehead, almost touching his scar. I pulled the strand back and when I let go, it went back to its former state, making the two of us laugh. My fingers then traced the scar on his forehead. When he smiled I turned red and mumbled an apology.
“Wouldn’t want them to suspect anything, now would we?” Seifer asked.
“Yeah, I mean no.” I turned my body to face him. I took in the sight of him and stored it away for safekeeping as everything around me began to move. “We wouldn’t want them to suspect this is just nothing.” I leaned closer to him, mesmerized by the golden glow that the sun gave him.
“Because then we wouldn’t be able to do this.” Seifer took my chin and led my lips to his. He always knew the right thing to say, but how did he know? How did he know that the looks he gave me made me nervous, that when he touched me it made me weak? Why didn’t I realize this was going on? Why didn’t I see this all before? If I had the guts to make a move, would he still look at me the same way?
I pulled back and glanced at the sea to see that the sun had set while we were kissing. I looked back at him to see him frowning in confusion.
“Can we go back now?” I asked, successfully keeping the anxiousness out of my
voice.“Sure.” He nodded and helped me up, waving to the other two who were down the beach a ways. My hand never left his as we walked back to the car. I needed reassurance for what I planned on doing next.
I watched Rinoa and Irvine enter my room and close the door. I desperately wanted to throw them out and hide in there for about a week. On the ride back to the garden, I got increasingly nervous, and I think Seifer could tell. He never let go of my hand and wouldn’t let me go far either.
“Squall,” he chided. My knees turned to jelly. Hyne, when the hell did I turn into such a girl? My hand smacked my forehead as the sound of his chuckling filled my ears.
“How do you do it?” I asked as he slowly pulled me into his bedroom.
“Do what?”
“Make me feel like I do.”
Seifer frowned amused and sat on the corner of the bed. “What do you mean?”
I leaned on the door as I closed it behind me. “In the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling things around you. And it’s not just because they’re here or because we kissed.” I shook my head and looked at the floor. “But maybe it is. Maybe I’m just feeling things because we’re so close right now.”
“You said you were alright with this, Squall.”
There, he said my name again. Seifer always called me Leonhart. Was he just practicing for them, or did he really mean it? Or was he hiding something?
“Are you saying this isn’t what you want?” he asked.
“Yes. No… I don’t know…” I paused and frowned at him. “What I want?”
“Want, need, whatever.” He waved his hand then smiled at it. “I’m starting to act like you.” He shook his head as I rolled my eyes. “Look, I just want you to find whatever it is you’re missing. Seems like you’ve been missing it for a long time.” He stood and approached me.
“Why are you trying to help me?” I stood up from the door I had been leaning on. “What if what I need has nothing to do with you?”
He smirked. “Oh, but it does.”
“Really?” I backed him up to the bed again until his legs hit the mattress, but I didn’t make him fall onto it. “You’re so sure of this aren’t you?”
“You better believe it.” He grinned.
My lip curled at his arrogance. “Never one to be serious eh Seifer?” Maybe this really was trivial to him and he didn’t really care about me. My face fell along with my
spirits.“Hey, come on, I was just joking.” Seifer put a hand on my shoulder, his thumb caressing my neck. Just that little action helped me to feel better and made tingles run about my body. This is what I needed, what I’d wanted. I couldn’t believe I’d missed something like this. And it had been staring me in the face for so long.
“You know that epiphany I’m supposed to be having?” I asked.
“Yeah?” Seifer replied.
I gazed up at him and put my hands to either side of his face. I took a moment to remember the look on his face, captivated. “It’s starting.” I pulled his face to mine and crushed my lips upon his.
I felt Seifer’s arms wrap around my waist as I ended the kiss. Suddenly we were falling onto the bed and with an ‘uuf’ my head knocked into his. I groaned and rolled off of him rubbing my forehead. I looked over to see that he was doing the same.
Seifer’s green eyes sparkled as he smiled at me and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. He started snickering and I couldn’t hold back any longer. He rolled onto me and held me while we laughed.
“Hi.” He grinned at me and I could hear the mischievousness in his voice. He let his body lie flat along mine and nuzzled my nose. I let the fuzzy feeling in my mind take over and let him kiss me again. As his tongue entered my mouth, my body began to react to his. My arms tightened their grip and pulled him closer as I rocked my hips against his. I could feel something happening to me that had never occurred before.
“Hel-lo.” Seifer raised an eyebrow suggestively at the little package of mine poking at his leg. I narrowed my eyes annoyed at his teasing and he laughed again making me smile. Damn him.
“What do we have here?” the blonde reiterated and sat back. “Looks like you have a big gun in your pants. How’d you get that in there?”
I couldn’t help but laughing. “What makes you think it’s so big?”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.” Seifer leaned over me, his hand taking hold of the button of my pants. “I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about six inches,” he undid the button, “of your zipper.” His hand stopped at the top of the zipper and his face hovered inches from mine as I watched holding my breath. “Are you sure this is what you
want?”“Yes,” I breathed.
“Prove it.”
“I think I already have.” I glanced down at the bulge in my pants and he grinned. “In fact, I think you have one to match.” My hands pulled his hips to mine as I ground mine against his.
He groaned into my ear and then growled throatily. “Point taken,” he said before adhering his lips to my neck. I sighed at the sensations his wet lips made on my skin.
I didn’t know he’d unzipped my pants until I felt the cold air against my skin and his hand was teasing my hardened cock. I gasped as he wrapped his hand around it and I looked up at him. Seifer’s sea green eyes had hardened into lust filled crystals of emerald. They made me want to do something to return this patience he’d had in some way.
“No fair,” I managed as he removed his hand. “I’m here half naked, and look at you fully clothed.”
He grinned. “You think so?”
“Yes,” I growled and ran my hands under his shirt. As my hands went higher, so did the shirt until it was carelessly thrown onto the floor. He did the same with mine before I rolled us over so I straddled him.
“Taking the wheel?” One green eye winked. “Sure you can drive?”
“I thought I’d give it a try.” I undid his pants and had them off in a matter of
seconds.“Didn’t know you liked it fast,” he quipped to get a blush out of me. “No matter. I’ll make sure to slow it down and torture you.”
“Oh, you know, the thrill of a chase,” I replied, my hand wrapping around his erect member. “I like it fast and hard.” My palm began to pump him quickly eliciting a gasp from his mouth. “But, its seems you like it slow and passionate.” I grinned as he growled at the slowed speed.
I smiled and leaned down to kiss his chest. “I’m new at this so,” I licked at his right nipple, “go with me on this?” I nipped the hardened pick flesh to get a moan in return. “I’ve never done this before.”
His hand reached up and cupped my cheek. “You’re a great driver. Keep going.” His thumb rubbed my cheekbone and I felt all warm and squishy inside. “Just, go farther south. It’s more fun down there.”
I snorted as his hand fell back to the sheets of his bed and I kissed him. “Should I obey the speed limit?” My tongue trailed a line down the center of Seifer’s chest then turned down his right thigh. It then passed over the slit at the tip of his cock and he gasped. I then licked it from bottom to top, stopping to suck at the head. Seifer tried to thrust his hips upward but I held them down.
I stayed where I was for a little longer before taking a little more into my mouth, and then more. As my tongue worked I could feel his flesh throbbing in my mouth. Seifer’s body tensed as I brought him closer to release so I used my fingers to stroke the lower part of his cock. As I did so his breath quickened more and more until he finally moaned out my name as his seed washed into my mouth. I swallowed what he gave me and granted the tip one last lick before kissing my way up his chest. I laid on his chest and let him recover. I watched his unfocused emerald eyes return to their oceanic state.
“That was wonderful Squall.” Seifer smiled. “You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined that.”
“Really?” I asked shyly. I’d never known. I’d always been to blind and wrapped up in myself to notice that what I’d been missing was right across the way.
“Now I owe you.” He crawled off of the bed and beckoned me to follow, so I did. Seifer pulled the blankets up and gestured for me to crawl in. “I’ll be right back. I need to take my contacts out.” I nodded as he gabbed a robe from his closet door and padded out of the room.
I curled up in the sheets and breathed in his scent. The ocean surrounded me and I instantly started to imagine what he might do to me once he got back. When he slipped under the sheets behind me, his arms snaked around my body.
“You tasted sweet,” I commented
“I’m a vegetarian, I’m as sweet as they come,” he replied and I smirked. “Are you ready?” his voice purred into my ear and I shuddered. “Guess that’s a yes.” I could feel him grin. He turned me onto my back and let his palm rest on my cheek again. It seemed to like that spot.
“What?” I asked as he shook his head while he looked at me.
“You’re just so beautiful.” Seifer kissed me. “I just can’t believe I’m here with
you.”“Why’s that?”
“Your icy exterior was so hard to crack, I never knew if I would be able to break it down completely.”
“Thank you.” I smiled as his hand trailed down my cheek, then my neck. His fingers then tickled down my arm and back up before traveling around my chest. I gasped as he closed his lips over my left nipple. His hand traveled lower massaging the inside of my thigh, asking me to spread my legs.
Seifer’s hand dropped to cup my balls and I sighed. He stopped his assault on my nipple and turned his head to rest it on my chest. The short blonde strands tickled my skin.
“I can hear your heartbeat,” he murmured as his hand moved up and closed on my shaft. “It’s getting faster.” He chuckled.
“Good to know,” I forced out then moaned as his grip tightened on me and his hand began to move. As it traveled up and down I felt my body slip away from me. I fell away into a world of sensations as Seifer blew in my ear and began to nibble on it.
As he pumped me, raw energy entered my body and it reacted by itself. My hips moved in time with him and the muscles all over my body began to clench, as I got closer.
“Squall,” I heard his sultry voice next to my ear and involuntarily shivered.
“Seifer,” I gasped through all the things I was experiencing. A moan escaped my lips as his tongue traced my ear.
“Come for me, love.”
I whimpered as his hand went faster and my hands gripped the sheets. My mind went careening over the edge as I was granted release. Through my fuzzy senses I vaguely felt his tongue trace up my neck and his lips kiss my jaw.
“Squall.” His chiding voice drew me out of that post-orgasmic state of mind.
“Yeah?” My voice was hoarse, something I didn’t expect. I coughed and chuckled. “That was… wow.”
Seifer grinned. “Yeah, where’d you learn to do that with your tongue?”
I could feel my face getting hot as he laughed. “Don’t tease or you won’t get blessed by its presence again.” I wondered if he really liked it. Hell, even I’d love to die that
way.“Sorry,” he apologized and kissed my cheek. I couldn’t help but smiling. Hyne, it was so lovey-dovey. But hey, I suppose I could get used to this and trade in a little of my pessimism for optimism. You had to be optimistic and hope for something to happen instead of saying fuck it. Or was it the other way around when thinking about Seifer?
I smirked as his fingers touched the liquid on my lower belly. I’d forgotten it was even there and wondered if he’d actually taste it. The thought made my cheeks turn a bit pink but it actually sounded quite erotic. I waited and watched as the blonde’s fingers trailed around my belly almost absentmindedly. A frown inhabited my face when he wiped his fingers off and took my hand and covered my fingers with the fluid. He then proceeded to suck on each of my fingers. Now THAT was erotic. I kind of liked this optimistic idea of hoping and getting the better of things. Though, I wondered what would happen if we tried it the pessimistic way and an evil grin painted my face.
“Uh oh,” Seifer said when he saw my grin. “I can almost see and hear the little wheels and gears moving in your brain.”
“The hamster wheel? Yeah it’s dead, I found out a few years ago but decided to put off getting a new one until now.”
Seifer scoffed. “Lazy.” He laid down beside me, pulling me closer to him.
I rested my head on his chest. “Procrastination,” I said to his raised eyebrow. “It sounds more difficult,” I explained, as I looked over the body that relaxed beside mine. Hyne, I couldn’t believe that he was mine. Or at least I hoped that he was mine. I had planned on stealing his bed, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’d get too lonely.
“Hope things go well for you two,” Rinoa replied and hugged me. I patted her back and waited for her to let go. I knew I broke up with her for some reason. She wore too damn much perfume. I wanted to gag.
As everyone said and waved their goodbyes, Irvine tipped his hat and led Rinoa out of the garden as she yelled things about getting together to us. Fat chance. Even though I was forgiving, her and my karma didn’t mesh. I’d never really like being around those two, but I’d never tell them that. I’m far too nice to voice that opinion out loud.
“So,” Seifer said to me, his hands on my shoulders as he stood behind me.
“So,” I replied.
“Did you find what you were missing while they were here?” He rested his chin on my shoulder.
“I don’t think I missed anything from that relationship,” I muttered.
“No, I mean your epiphany. Did you find that missing element from your life?”
“I hope so.” My fingers entwined with in his hair and ruffled it. “And I don’t want to lose it this time.”
“Good.” He kissed my neck and stood straight again. I loved it when he did that. It sent tingles running though my body.
“Hey, did I win my bet?” Zell looked to Seifer as I raised an eyebrow. “Were you faking or did you really get together?”
I blinked. He bet on the fact that we’d get together? What a jerk! My eyes narrowed as I turned to face the blonde. “What is he talking about? Did you bet on us?”
Seifer was backed up against the directory and had nowhere to run. His eyes darted to everything but me as he tried to come up with an explanation. Finally he just sighed and said, “Yeah.”
“How much?” I asked.
“10,000 Gil.”
My body turned itself to Zell open palmed. “Pay up Dincht.”
“I-I don’t have cash!” He fidgeted as I stared deadpanned at him. “B-but I’ll g-go get it r-right now!” he stuttered and jogged away before I could get my gunblade and slash him to bits. Quistis and Selphie giggled and started walking after the fearful martial artist.
“Way to tell him!” Seifer cheered then slouched as I scowled at him.
“You owe me.” I poked his chest. “Big time.”
“Big?” He grinned and I rolled my eyes amused. Damn his innuendos.
“Whatever…”
“Now don’t be like that!” Seifer kissed my forehead and sniffed for a moment. “I smell kiwis.”
“Odd, we haven’t used that bottle yet.” A smirk appeared on my face.
“Maybe my senses are trying to tell you something.” He winked. “Then you can collect your reward.”
“I’ve already got my reward.” I grinned and put my arms around his neck. “It just comes with special bonuses.”
“You better believe it.”
I do.