Letting Go of You
Chapter 2 - A Vision Realised
By Kursed SeeD
--This second chapter is from Seifer's POV. It tells what went wrong on the mission to Galbadia--
Letting Go of You
Chapter 2 - A Vision Realised
By Kursed SeeD
"So Don't tell me I haven't been good to you don't tell me I have never been there for you and just tell me why nothing is good enough"
- Sarah McLachlan "Good Enough"
I should be sleeping. I have a mission tomorrow, in Galbadia, and I have only 3 hours until I have to leave. So why, you ask, aren't I sleeping?
Because at this point, I would rather die.
You could of asked me a couple of hours ago if I thought my life sucked, and I would of just laughed at you. But now, I'd probably tell you that it did more than anything.
What went wrong?
Oh wait, I know what went wrong. I over-estimated again. I got too cocky, to self-assured. To think that I thought he actually *loved* me. Haha. I should of known better. The Ice Prince doesn't love anyone or anything, besides maybe himself.
Ouch.
I shouldn't be thinking things like that. I know it's not Squall's fault if he doesn't love me, as I love him. But I can't help it. I feel so hurt, so alone. And what's my natural reaction? Anger. I use anger to cover up my pain simply becuse it's easier to want to beat the crap out of someone than it is to cry over them. At least fighting gets some of the emotions out. What good does crying do? Just gives you a headache.
I sigh and look at the clock. 3:47. I have to be at the Balamb train station by 6:30. I really need to get some sleep.
I fumble around in my nightstand drawer until I find what I'm looking for. A little yellow bottle full of blue pills. I'll sleep *one* way or another.
It's 6:23 and I am standing at the train station, waiting for the Instructor and the Chicken Wuss. I feel groggy as hell. Didn't sleep off those sleeping pills, I guess.
They arrive a few minutes later, out of breath. I give them a questioning look.
:"Zell overslept, it took ten minutes to get him awake." was all Quistis offered and got on the train.
Zell blushed sheepishly and followed her.
I start to make my way onto the train when I hear someone call my name.
"Seifer! Seifer, wait!!!"
I turn around and come face to face with the one man that plagued my mind all last night.
"Squall." I say, trying to keep my voice even.
"Um, hi." He said, blushing slightly. Squall? Blushing? This confuses me for a minute, but then I shrug it off.
"What do you want?" I ask, sharper than I meant to. I see him wince at my words.
"I wanted to tell you.. I wanted to.. I..." the words seem caught in his throat.
"Tell me what?" I ask gingerly, searching his eyes for an answer. He looks just as afraid as he did last night, the first time I told him I loved him.
"Um.. I...ah.. have a nice trip, Seifer!!" he says quickly.
I narrow my eyes, "That's it? You came all this way to tell me 'have a nice trip'? You should of just stayed at home." I growled and headed towards the train.
Squall grabs my arm, stopping me. "Seifer, wait."
I see something in his eyes, something behind his fear. I can't name what it is, though. It's only there for a second, and then it's gone. "What do you want now?" I ask crossly.
"Nothing..." he mumbles weakly and runs off. Away from me.
I sigh, my heart breaking silently and get on the train.
Hack. "Why." Hack. "Won't." Hack. "You." Hack. "Just." Hack. "Die?!" Hack.
"Ummm.. Seifer.. you okay?" I hear a voice behind me and turn around to see Zell, looking concerned.
"Of course I'm okay, chicken wuss." I snap.
Zell blinks, "Well, um.. you were attacking a monster.. but you already killed it like five minutes ago.."
A confused look passes over my face. Had I really? I turn back to the monster and see that Zell is right.
"Oh well, just making sure, I guess." I say, smirking slightly. "Come on, let's go see what else there is to destroy."
Zell rolls his eyes and follows me across the grassy plains.
We're close to Deiling City, wiping out Toramas and Imps. I hear a crack of a whip and see Quistis killing an Imp. I smirk to myself, she's quite handy with that whip of hers.
"All right, guys." She says about an hour and three hundred monsters later, "I think we're done for now. Let's call it a day."
I silently thank Hyne and start to head back to the city.
"Huh? What the hell?" Zell gasps.
I turn around quickly to see what he's talking about, only to be confronted by a Bahamut look-alike.
"What in the hell is that???" Quistis asks, worriedly.
I shrug, "Doesn't matter, we can take it."
The beast lets out a defeaning roar and starts to head towards us.
"Uhhh.. I'm not so.. sure about this, Seifer.." Zell stammers.
I snicker. We can handle it.
I hold my gunblade in positition, ready to attack.
The next thing I know, I'm lying on the ground.
"Seifer?!?!" A very worried Quistis and Zell appear over me.
"Huh? What happened?" I mumble, trying to sit up. Only, the pain is too much. I have to lay back down.
Pain?
When'd I get hurt?
On second thought, *how'd* I get hurt?
"You're going to be fine, Seifer.." Quistis says, trying to reassure me. I can tell from her expression that I'm not going to be 'fine', though.
"Zell!" She says, turning to the smaller blonde, "Go to Deiling City! We need a doctor!"
Zell rushes off, without hesitation.
"What happened?" I ask quietly, as she sits down beside me, taking my head in her lap.
"I don't know.." she answers, truthfully. "One minute the monster was just standing there, and the next it had you down on the ground, attacking you."
"Oh.." I let my voice trail off. "What happened to the monster?"
"Zell and I killed it..."
I say nothing to this. The sky looks so pretty right now. So blue. Like Squalls' eyes when he's really happy.
Squall.
"I'm not going to be okay... am I, Quisty??"
I feel something wet hit my face. I look up at her, puzzled. She's crying. "You haven't called me Quisty in ages.." she whispers.
I just stare at her. I'm sure of it now. I'm going to die. Out here. Away from Squall.
I wonder if he'll miss me?
Things begin to grow a little darker, my vision dimming. "Quisty...?" I say after a few minutes.
"Yes, Seifer?" Her voice is choked with tears.
"Can you do me a favour?"
Anything you ask for.." she is smiling at me, sadly.
"Can you tell Squall I love him?"
Quistis shakes her head violently. "No, Seifer! *YOU* tell him!!"
I sigh, "You know I can't.... Please... promise me..."
She is silent for a few minutes, "I promise.. now rest.."
"Okay.." I say and close my eyes.
I have one last conscious thought after this. I suddenly realise what the emotion was in Squalls' eyes back in Balamb.
Love.
"He loves me." I whisper, drifting away.
-End-