Pairing/Fandom: Seifer x Squall Final Fantasy VIII
Theme: #15 The bordello
Title: I never said I loved you. (aka Kerb Crawling)
Author/Artist: Darksquall (with thanks to pixie518, Race Ulfson and Astraea Trepe)
Disclaimer: These guys ain't mine, so I ain't making no money off this.

He'd spent most of the evening tossing back overpriced shots of whiskey in a bar he hated with people he barely knew. He'd danced with a couple of people almost pretty enough to forget that face that haunted his dreams for a few minutes. Now he was heading for home, a nice whiskey buzz making him feel lazy and warm.

As he drew up to a crossroads, the traffic light's blood red glow mellowed by the heavy orange light from the street lamps, he happened to glance over to the street corner opposite him where a handful of girls were plying the oldest trade in the world.

Only then did he notice how snug his pants had become during the course of the evening, and he wondered whether he'd have the time or energy to spend with one of them before he passed out.

One of the girls, a pretty thing in high heeled, knee length boots that accented long legs that he'd be very glad to have wrapped around strategic parts of his body, caught his eye. She had brown hair, just kissing her shoulder blades, and a leather miniskirt clung to the beautiful curve of her thighs. Whether it was the crossed, deep crimson belts that made him think of Squall for what was more than likely the tenth time that day, or whether it was the cropped leather jacket and tight white tee-shirt that peeked out from underneath, he wasn't sure.

She was perfect for his needs. Just enough like Squall to satisfy his craving and his twitching erection. He half wondered how much extra it would be to fuck her like he'd fucked Squall.

The light changed to green and an impatient driver behind him honked the horn. Jolted from his brief trance, he decided he could risk it and pulled across to the side of the street, rolling to a halt only feet from the object of his attentions.

Without a second thought, he leant over the passenger seat to roll the window down. "How much?"

The girl, a pouty lipped beauty with smoky eye make up and an oh so familiar pair of blue-grey eyes leant down to the car window, leaning her arms on the door and scowled at him. "Never thought you'd sink so low as to pay for it, Almasy."

Seifer froze for a moment, the revelation that the girl that he'd thought looked so like Squall Leonhart really was Squall Leonhart shocking him into silence briefly. But like all things, it passed and he threw back his head and just laughed. It took him a few moments to contain his mirth enough to speak again. "Oh Hyne's sweet ass, Leonhart – What the hell are you doing?"

Rolling his eyes in disgust, Squall straightened and walked a few steps away from the car. He'd known when he'd taken the mission that something would happen that he'd never live down. Anyone else finding him would have been less embarrassing than this. Selphie, Edea... Hyne even his father would have been less embarrassing.

He tried so hard to ignore Seifer when the blond called "come back here!" from behind him. He wanted to forget all this had happened and go back to Garden. If it hadn't been for a few curious looks from the street walkers he'd been stood with most of the night, Squall would have stayed right there. Instead he returned to the passenger door.

"You didn't ask me if I was lookin' for a date." Seifer grinned.

"Don't start." The brunet hissed in response.

Holding his hands up in a mock surrender, Seifer tipped his head, his eyes strafing Squall's form, now that he had the chance again. Squall was just as beautiful as ever, built more like a dancer than a swordsman. No wonder he'd been picked to dress up like a girl. "Okay, okay. Tell you what, I won't say another word about it and I'll forget I ever saw this, how's that sound?"

Pausing to attempt to figure out what the conditions to Seifer's generous offer were, Squall chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. "What's the catch?" He asked eventually when the curiosity got the better of him.

"You have to get in the car if you want me to tell you that."

With a cursory glance around, Squall opened the car door and slipped into the passenger seat, crossing his legs at the ankles and smoothing his skirt over his stocking covered thighs. He longed for the earth to open and swallow him up so he wouldn't have to face this a moment longer. If Seifer laughed again, he was going for the knife in his boot.

"Still got the finest legs I've ever seen Leonhart." The blond commented as he stole a squeeze of Squall's knee before selecting first gear and pulling away from the kerb. "Times lean in Balamb, or what? I mean when the Commander has to sell his ass, things must be looking down."

"Mission. Don't be an idiot." The chuckle that was so maddeningly smug spilled from Seifer's lips and made Squall's hands clench into fists in his lap.

"I know that, Dumbass. Doesn't mean I can't stop and enjoy it though, right?" Seifer glanced at Squall out of the corner of his eyes, teasingly brief for both himself and Squall. Licking his lips he murmured "You look good enough to eat."

"Take me back, Almasy." The tone of the words was just as bored and nonchalant as it had always been. He sounded as though he likened cross dressing in his ex boyfriends car to reading the latest budget reports from Balamb Garden.

"I can help you out, you know. I'm not quite as dispensable in a mission as everyone always thought I was."

Flinching minutely, Squall turned his head to look at his former lover. There was no small amount of sadness in the storm cloud coloured irises of his eyes, his frown deepening as he studied the older man. "Seifer, take me back. I can't be away from my post for too long."

Standing on the brakes hard enough to make the tires squeal in protest and leave a good inch of rubber on the road, Seifer stopped right in the middle of the street and turned in his seat to look at the slender brunet, who gazed back at him as though he'd finally snapped. "How long can you be away?"

"Not in the middle of the street, you idiot. ...Long enough to make the target think I've had...." Squall's already quiet voice trailed off into silence as he realised just where that kind of conversation would lead him if he weren't careful. He had no one who counted, Rinoa was gone from his life but Seifer and sex could be a dangerous path for both of them.

Turning his attention back to the wheel, Seifer slammed the car into first and floored it, peeling away as though a ruby dragon were on his exhaust pipe. He sped around a corner, throwing Squall against his safety belt and pulled into a half hidden spot behind a dilapidated outbuilding, still just within sight of the spot where Squall had been 'working'. "There. If you're going to pretend to suck someone's cock, might as well be mine."

Silence was his only response from the beautiful boy in the passenger seat as Squall rubbed a hand over his face.

"So.... We're just pretending, right?"

The anger was evident in Squall's eyes as he turned his head to glare at the blond in the driver's seat. "What do you want, Seifer?"

"Seriously? You really want to know?"

"In general."

Closing his jade green eyes as he slumped back in his seat, Seifer frowned in thought. It was so hard to give a voice to his wants and needs, so he didn't. "A kiss." He said simply, shrugging his shoulders as he turned his head to watch Squall again.

"You didn't consider picking up a whore for a kiss." Squall muttered as he tucked his too long hair behind one ear. The anger in his eyes had subsided and left only confusion in its wake.

Squall still enchanted and fascinated him. He wanted to own him, love him forever, but there was little he could do about it. "No, but now that I know it's you..."

There was only the briefest of hesitations before Squall finally leant over and kissed him softly, nibbling at Seifer's lips with a tenderness that had never matched his cold façade. He was affected. No matter how much he fought it or hated it, Seifer always affected him in some deep down manner. The response to the kiss surprised him. Before the blond had always tried to force his way deeper into Squall's mouth, battling for control just like they did in training, this time he seemed content to just cup the back of Squall's head and kiss him with a gentleness he'd never shown.

"Good thing I came along, huh?" Seifer murmured when he released Squall's head and sat back in his seat once more.

"Whatever."

Lifting his hand to draw his thumb over Squall's pale cheek bone just once before withdrawing completely, Seifer smiled. "I'd hate to think of you kissing some stranger."

"The only people who pick me up are Zell, Irvine and Nida." Squall huffed as he sat back in his seat, folding his arms over his chest. Once again, Seifer had found a way past his defences, though using gentleness and a tender kiss was a new one for the handsome, somewhat arrogant blond.

"Hate to think of them kissing you too."

"It's only an act Seifer. They pick me up, bring me back half an hour later, give me a wad of gil then leave."

"Well..." Seifer tugged a battered packet of cigarettes from his pocket, selecting one with as much patience and care as one would display in selecting a fine wine before placing it between his lips and lighting it. "My plan's a little different." He took a long drag, letting the smoke silence his craving as it burned inside his lungs satisfyingly before he exhaled and offered the cigarette to Squall.

"I don't smoke." The brunet waved it away, his nose wrinkling faintly as he scowled with distaste at the very prospect.

"Aren't you going to ask me what my plan is?" A golden eyebrow arched delicately as the elder man took a few drags of the cigarette and finally flung the glowing stub out of the window.

With a defeated sigh, Squall shrugged and motioned for Seifer to continue with a vague gesture. "Enlighten me." He knew he'd get no peace if he didn't ask.

"I'm going to take you back when my allotted thirty minutes are up and then I'll come back for you after so you can go home with me."

A smile, the faintest sign of his amusement curled Squall's lips and a silent laugh shook his shoulders delicately. The look in his eyes was of a much more delicate disposition. "And who says I'm going to agree?"

"Well I'm hoping you will." Seifer smiled.

"Where's home?"

Seifer nodded along the street he'd been travelling down when he'd first spotted Squall such a short while ago. "About fifteen minutes from here. I live alone – no one will bother you." He hated to let himself hope that Squall would consider it, come home with him and let him do what he'd been dreaming of for months.

"You know..." Squall leant closer to his old lover, pausing when their noses were barely a hair's breadth apart. "I should kick your ass for drinking and driving."

"I'm sober, I swear." Seifer murmured, brushing his lips over his old lover's briefly and pulling back to rub his nose against Squall's. With the taste of Squall still on his lips and the nicotine and alcohol singing in his veins, he felt alive, hopeful in a way he hadn't felt for over a year, since before Ultimecia had taken him for a knight and broken him.

"You don't taste sober." The brunet whispered, closing the distance between them to slide his tongue into Seifer's mouth, taste the whiskey and stale cigarette on his tongue. Fisting one hand in Seifer's shirt in an effort to keep himself steady, he gave the softest whimper of need.

When they parted again, Seifer stroked his former lover's hair, noting that the length wasn't real, finding extensions woven into his nutmeg locks. He wasn't sure whether he should have been disappointed by that or not. "I'm a little off my game, I guess. But that's your fault, Leonhart."

"Why my fault?"

"You ruined me for anyone else."

The blue-grey gaze that could go from ice cold to red hot in a heartbeat flickered from Seifer's jade green eyes to his lips and back as Squall slid a hand over his lover's crotch. He found him still hard, needy and longing for more. "I didn't ruin you. Just... bent you a little."

A breathless laugh bubbled in Seifer's chest. "Does that mean you still love me?"

"I never said I loved you, Almasy." Squall murmured softly, a touch of ice to his words.

"I don't mind going first."

Squall simply watched him as he slid his fingers along Seifer's fly, lowering the zip and coaxing his hard length from the confines of his pants, stroking him slowly with a practiced hand. Lingering over the movement, he admired the faint blush that rose on Seifer's tanned cheeks before leaning down to lick at the head of his cock slowly; still working him in long, even strokes.

"Ahh, Squall..." Seifer breathed, curling the soft nutmeg locks of Squall's hair, both real and fraudulent, around his fingers. It was better than anything he could have imagined, to have Squall's mouth moving against his cock again after so long. He choked back a moan, tipping his head to allow him to watch the brunet moving in his lap.

The moan that he'd tried so hard to stifle was torn from his throat as Squall dragged his tongue along the length of Seifer's cock, opening his eyes to meet his old lover's gaze as he took the head of the length into his mouth.

Slowly, carefully, Squall took Seifer as deep into his mouth as he could, swallowing around the length as it pushed into his throat. It had been a while since he'd been with anyone, more than a year had passed since he and Seifer had last slept together. The taste of Seifer on his tongue made him long for more, but he didn't have time. He had the mission to think of.

"Nobody does that like you, Squall..." Seifer groaned, fighting to keep from arching up into the familiar heat of Squall's mouth, that wet, beautiful heat that never failed to make him long for release and fight it every second to make it last. It very nearly made him come when Squall began to hum, rocking his head slowly. "Back off..." He shuddered, still unable to believe Squall was doing this for him, but still so thankful that he was. "I'm gonna come."

Squall pulled away, keeping only the head of Seifer's cock between his lips as he stroked his saliva slickened shaft quickly.

With a hiss of breath between gritted teeth, Seifer came, his cock jerking in Squall's mouth as his seed flooded out of him. The brunet swallowed eagerly, slowing his hand as the pleasure passed and finally releasing him completely.

"Squall..." Seifer whispered, none of the feelings he still harboured for his former lover hidden anymore. He barely even realised that he'd spoken with such need, such longing, such adoration in just that single word that it scared the silent brunet.

He sat up suddenly; wiping his mouth and murmuring "take me back."

The words brought about a moment of almost elation within Seifer, before he realised just what Squall was asking. That the brunet wanted to get away from him. And although his heart was breaking inside him, Seifer shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant. "Whatever you want."

"I have a mission to finish."

"So what else is new?" Seifer muttered darkly as he tucked his softening cock away and zipped his pants again. His cock felt cold and sticky beneath the worn fabric. He hated knowing that Squall had guessed at his misunderstanding, hated himself for being so weak as to allow himself to be found out so easily. Pulling out from the curb and heading back for Squall's original position, he forced himself not to loose his cool. "That's a song and dance I know well, Leonhart."

"Whatever." Squall murmured softly, neither angry not cold, just a resigned sadness contained within that word that had been his mantra for so long. And no matter how many times he'd heard it from the quiet boy, Seifer still found himself irritated.

"I never realized it before, Squall, but you're a real pussy sometimes. I never took you for a quitter."

"What's your address?"

Seifer glanced at Squall again as he pulled up at the street corner where he'd picked him up from. "Why?"

"Just tell me Almasy." The brunet shot a challenging glance at him, his hand already on the door handle and his old scowl firmly in place. He was waiting to run away again, and that made Seifer angrier than ever.

"Parkview terrace, apartment four D." Seifer recited. He knew Squall wouldn't forget that vital a piece of information.

With just a nod to confirm he'd remember, Squall leant close again, giving Seifer the briefest of kisses that could still be termed a kiss before he opened the door. He paused for just a moment, gazing down at the rubber mat on the floor beneath his leather clad feet. There was so much he had to say about how he'd missed Seifer, how he cared for him, but it was futile and he instead settled for "You look good in black." He stepped out of the car.

"Be careful, Squirt." Seifer called, making himself hold back from calling the quiet boy back and saying the words that would really make Squall stay.

"Where's the fun in that?" The brunet asked dryly, shutting the car door behind him.

And before the blond had a chance to respond, he was gone.

He didn't stay around to get a last look; he'd already seen enough to break his heart.

~Later that evening~

Seifer had almost ignored the knock on his door that had awoken him. He'd only been sleeping lightly and he was already angry over the events earlier that evening. When he opened the door, bleary eyed and tousled, he was ready to punch whoever he found on the other side of it. However, when he found Squall Leonhart standing there, still in his whore gear but half hidden under a trench coat and his face concealed by the lack of light, his hand fell to his side uselessly as he struggled to find words.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Squall asked softly as he shifted the backpack he had on one shoulder into a more comfortable position.

"Not sure you could call what I was doing sleeping." The blond muttered, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands as he stepped back to make room for Squall to pass. "Come on in."

Slipping past in silence, Squall dumped his bag on the floor and stood in the centre of Seifer's living room, watching him a little hopelessly. He wanted to speak. Wanted to tell the truth about everything and admit just how intense his feelings were for Seifer but somehow... he still couldn't.

"Well if you're not gonna say it, I will. I missed you, you little fuck." The words were little more than a growl of annoyance as Seifer headed for the sofa and sat down on it heavily.

"I missed you too. That's why I'm here." Remaining standing, Squall folded his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. He was close enough to smell Seifer, sleep mussed and still whiskey hot. He tried to ignore the shiver of thrill seeing Seifer bare-chested and still handsome in the darkness of the apartment bought to him and sent along his veins like fire and ice intertwined.

The surprise that sounded in Seifer's voice was hard to conceal, that admission had been the last thing he'd been expecting and he scratched his head in confusion. "Yeah?"

"Yeah... I hoped.... I don't know what I hoped actually."

"Of course you know." The blond muttered defensively, tipping his head as he watched Squall. The darkness still concealed the details of his former lover's features from him, preventing him from seeing the feelings in his eyes.

"I really don't know what I want." Squall sighed. His needs and his desires were at war within him. He needed Seifer, he longed for Seifer, but Seed, his livelihood was important to him and he knew that whatever happened could easily be called into question by Cid and the faculty.

"And you know I don't care." Seifer smiled faintly. "Come here." He moved over and reached for Squall, attempting somewhat futilely to contain his eagerness.

As he twined his bare fingers with Seifer's, Squall tipped his head gently. His hair, shorter than it had been earlier as the extensions had been the first thing to go after he'd completed his mission for the night, tumbled annoyingly into his eyes again. "What do you want?" He only had a moment to prepare himself as Seifer tugged him down onto the sofa beside him.

Gently, tenderly, Seifer brushed aside the errant strands of nutmeg brown hair from Squall's eyes. "I want what I've always wanted. Just you."

"...Between garden and last year... I think I forgot that."

"I know." The blond whispered softly as he wound his arms tightly around Squall's shoulders, simply holding him close and enjoying it for a moment. His cheek pressed against the cool touch of the dark strands of hair that smelt of almond and peach, that had always smelt of almond and peach, he allowed himself a moment of peace. "I was a dick earlier. I ...wasn't prepared to see you, I don't think."

"That reminds me." Squall muttered before elbowing Seifer's belly hard enough to knock the wind out of him. "Where do you get off drinking and driving? Fucking idiot."

With a grunt of pain, Seifer rubbed his stomach and glowered at Squall. "Brute. I was just relaxing a little, that's all."

"You're going to end up a smear on a wall relaxing that way. If you do, I'll phoenix down what's left of you and kill you myself." The usually soft voice was filled with anger, a hiss of pain that did little to disguise the fear that fuelled the words. He was petrified at the thought of Seifer gone, Seifer dead. However he couldn't just come out and admit that. At least, not yet.

"Aww, c'mon Squall. I didn't drink that much. I'm okay, see?" Gently, the blond bumped his head against Squall's and rubbed his back soothingly. Finally, he'd seen some proof that Squall really did care about him and it gave him no small amount of hope and courage.

"Bloody minded idiot." Squall accused, wrapping his arms around Seifer and clinging tightly to him. "Are you real, Almasy?"

"I'm real if you are."

Lifting his gaze, a look of worry in his eyes, Squall chewed on his lower lip. "I don't know if I am real anymore."

The carefully uncertain and hopeful expression that graced Squall's features so delicately was irresistible. Seifer cupped Squall's cheek gently, tracing his cheekbone with one thumb and only then noticing the dark bruise that marred the pale flesh, just coming to the surface. The light from the full moon streaming in through the open window highlighted it, deepened it. "Who hit you?" He asked, his eyes narrowing in anger at the way Squall stiffened at the touch. Only then did he notice the split lip

"The guy we were hired to catch."

"And did you catch him?" The way he'd bristled at the prospect of Squall being hurt surprised Seifer. After all he'd hurt the brunet both intentionally and accidentally time and time again, it should have been nothing. Perhaps it was just the thought of anyone else touching his Squall.

"Mmm." Squall hummed his positive response and rubbed his cheek against Seifer's hand, seemingly heedless to any pain that he felt. "He's a little worse off than me though." He admitted smugly.

"That's my boy."

Stealing the softest of kisses from Seifer's waiting mouth; Squall couldn't hide his smile for long. Allowing it to curl his lips just faintly, he confessed "I came straight here. Didn't get a chance to heal or change."

"I think I like the way that sounds." The blond sighed against his lover's lips. Squall filled his senses completely, distractingly, and he wanted to possess him all over again. Be with him just like he'd been before the war. It was tantalisingly close now, if only he could find a way to reach out and take it.

"You would." Squall leant back, pulling away from Seifer to watch him again. "Seifer?"

"Yeah?"

"I only have tonight... Fuck me."

At the words, Seifer paused, pulling Squall tight against him again and burying his nose into the coffee coloured locks of Squall's hair as he closed his eyes. One night, certainly more than enough to tear his heart to pieces. "Just tonight?"

"Just tonight in Deling." The brunet clarified, rubbing his fingers in soothing small circles along Seifer's spine in an attempt to soothe him.

It was going to hurt to say goodbye in the morning. Seifer could already feel the pain beginning to cloud his thoughts at the prospect of Squall walking out on him in the morning light. One life time wasn't enough, one night was nothing. "Okay. Does that mean I get the whole night?" He asked as he pulled away from Squall's embrace to unzip the knee high boots and ease them off Squall's legs carefully.

"You get anything you want." Squall murmured as he slid his fingers through Seifer's sleep tousled hair and mussed it even more before trying futilely to straighten it.

"Not everything Squall. Not even close." He tried to hide the pain behind an amused tone of voice but it did nothing to disguise how he truly felt as Seifer pushed Squall's trench coat off his shoulders.

Freeing his arms from the clothing, Squall caught Seifer's chin and forced the blond to look up at him, to face what was happening with the old Almasy smirk firmly in place. Squall looked hauntingly calm, his expression not reaching his eyes, no longer cold as ice or filled with red hot anger, just... sad and hopeful. "Even that, Seifer."

"What are you telling me?" Seifer forced himself not to get his hopes up; he'd been hurt before, it would be just as easy to break his heart a second time that evening for Squall. "Say it so I don't misunderstand."

The silence between them was deafening before Squall finally slid off the sofa to kneel with Seifer, wrapping his arms around the taller man and whispering breathily against his ear "I miss you."

A content but somewhat sad smile curled Seifer's lips as he turned his head to rest his forehead against Squall's, sliding his hand under the tiny tee-shirt that barely covered the well defined muscle of Squall's stomach, sliding it up and out of his way so he could feel the cool, scarred flesh. "I can't even tell you how much I miss you, Squall."

"Never had much use for words..." Squall whispered and sealed Seifer's mouth in a hot kiss, filled with need and longing as he slid his tongue between Seifer's lips and filled his mouth just like he wanted to be filled. "Show me."

With a soft, longing, entreating sound of lust, Seifer communicated wordlessly that he, in no uncertain terms, surrendered to Squall's desires completely and irrevocably. Still kissing him as though he couldn't ever stop again, he scooped Squall up into his arms, cradling him close as he carried him as tenderly as he would a china doll down the short hallway to the bedroom. The slight ego boost that came from realising that Squall was still light enough for him to carry with no problem made his smirk grow more confident.

"Just because I'm dressed like a woman doesn't mean I am one, Almasy."

"You're right." Seifer beamed as he stopped at the side of the bed and dropped Squall unceremoniously onto the mattress. "I want you out of those clothes."

He'd been waiting to get out of the outfit ever since Quistis had helped him pour himself into it. First the belts and the skirt were kicked away, followed by the tiny tee-shirt and Squall finally paused, watching Seifer in just a pair of silky panties with stockings and suspenders. His mortification at the prospect of being seen in those items by his former lover was ebbing now, it was already too late to change it and he just had to accept it.

Squall watched as Seifer wrapped his fingers around one ankle, kissing his way along the inside of Squall's stocking clad leg and finally unsnapping the garter to roll it down. "I could get used to this." Seifer smiled at him hungrily, leaving no doubt in his lover's mind that he would be leaving the apartment well fucked. "You're still the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."

"Whatever. I could get used to this."

"And I've barely even started, flatterer." Seifer pulled the silk free of Squall's feet, kissing the brunet's ankle and looping the material around his neck before turning his attention to the other one and removing it in exactly the same way. However, this time, he simply trailed the length of silk lightly over Squall's belly. "You know what?"

The smaller man leant up on his elbows to watch Seifer move, his cock hard against the scrap of material that just covered him. "No, what?"

"I love you." Seifer stated, unsnapping the garter belt with little trouble, rubbing the flat of his palm against the hidden hardness of Squall's erection while he tossed the scrap of lace aside. "More than I loved you the first time we did this."

"We did this before?" A faint thread of fear filled Squall's words. He searched his memory for any sign of this sort of situation happening with them before and found none.

"All those long hours you spent in my bed, sucking and kissing and letting me feel all over you." The already deep voice that spilled from Seifer's lips grew huskier as he crawled over Squall, stretching against his body and kissing him softly, almost reverent in his gentleness. "All the times you told me to wait."

"Don't do that to me." Relief almost tangible, Squall sighed and wrapped his arms around Seifer, clinging to him. "And you ignored me every time."

"I waited long enough for you Leonhart." Seifer whispered, stroking Squall's cock through the thin barrier of the silk underwear, teasing the damp spot near the waistband where precome leaked from the tip of the length. "You drove me nuts."

"Seifer..." Squall husked, sliding his hand beneath the draw string pants that Seifer had been sleeping in to stroke him gently, the velvety skin of Seifer's cock a familiar warmth in his palm that comforted him as much as it made him long for more.

With a gasp, Seifer teased the silky scrap of material from Squall's hips, sliding the cloth to his knees and letting the brunet kick them away. He moved to nuzzle at Squall's belly. "I missed this. The way you taste..." Finally he moved between Squall's legs, pushing them apart to make room for himself.

"Damn you." The smaller man cursed, sinking back onto the bed. "All I've been thinking about since your car is having you inside me again. Why is it only you can do this to me?"

"Because you belong to me, Squall. Just like I belong to you. This is how it is between us – stop fighting it."

The very prospect of giving up his emotional restraint so easily was almost alien to Squall. To just accept his fate and go along with something that he had no control over was almost scary for a moment. Years of being trained to follow orders and do as he was told kicked in and he shrugged his shoulders minutely. "Okay."

With a smile, Seifer began to lick and suck at Squall's cock taking it into his mouth. A long, low moan spilled from the brunet as a fingertip trailed along the cleft of his ass carefully, never pressing for deeper entry. Too soon Squall was almost panting with the need for release, entreating "please... please..." over and over.

Seifer pulled one of Squall's hands to the hard arc of his cock and watched him with intensely green eyes, alive with the pleasure of having Squall in his bed once again. "Keep touching yourself while I get the lube." He gave Squall a moment to start stroking, and only when the younger man was working his cock in long slow strokes did he roll off the bed and retreat to the bedside table to find the bottle of lubricant he kept hidden.

Half turning as he slicked his fingers, lingering as he took in the sight of the younger man thrusting into his own hand. Squall looked positively delicious as he writhed on the bed. "Feels good, baby?"

"Not as good as you feel."

"Gods... spread your legs some more. You look so fucking hot."

Silent but for his own soft moans of pleasure, Squall sucked on one finger and lowered it to find his opening, sliding it into himself with a soft, pleasured cry of the blond's name. "Seifer...."

"Do that slow, I want to watch." Seifer murmured as he crawled onto the bed, his eyes on the movement of Squall's finger as it stretched the tight muscle gently. A second finger joined the first, melting into the cool flesh of Squall's body as the hand rocked slowly, the fingers scissoring roughly in an effort to prepare himself for Seifer's cock.

Finally, when Seifer feared if he didn't fuck Squall soon he'd come from just watching the younger man tease and prepare himself, Seifer eased the hands away and guided Squall to make him roll onto his stomach. "Like this... okay?"

"Or..." lifting himself onto his knees, his shoulders still pressed against the mattress, Squall's body was spread open for Seifer, desperate to be fucked. "This?"

"Oh gods... just like this." Seifer moaned, resting his forehead against Squall's lower back as he pushed two slick fingers into the gently stretched opening, rocking his fingers deeply just as Squall rocked his hips back for more.

"Almasy, please..."

"Just a little more..." the blond breathed as he slid the fingers out, pressing his tongue briefly against the slippery ring of muscle, moaning with his longing as he rubbed his palms against Squall's thighs soothingly. "I want so much of you."

"I want your cock, Seifer." Squall begged softly, squirming in an effort to either get more or get away from the incessant teasing.

He didn't need to be asked twice. Seifer pulled away with a brief kiss to Squall's lower back and positioned himself, guiding his cock into Squall's tight heat with one hand. "Arch your back, baby." And Squall did, forcing himself further onto Seifer's cock with a trembling moan of pleasure.

He found himself leaning over Squall, reaching beneath the smaller man to press the hard length of his cock tight against his belly, brushing a gentle kiss to the back of his lover's neck. Seifer hardly dared breathe as he pushed into Squall insistently.

"Fuck, no one..." The brunet gasped softly as he rolled his hips just to feel the friction of Seifer's cock deep inside him. "Seifer..."He felt so full, the pleasure from the sensation making him almost dizzy with relief after so long of self restraint and loneliness. He wanted Seifer to fuck him hard, take him, use him, claim him...

With both arms around Squall's waist, one hand curled around his erection, Seifer began to fuck Squall in short, hard thrusts, striking his prostate every time he surged forward to fill him again, sending tremors of pleasure through Squall's limbs. "No one but you."

The smaller man squirmed beneath him, eyes tight as his fingers tangled in the bed clothes tightly as though to ground himself from the pleasure that assaulted him so effectively. Squall's voice was little more than a soft, rumbling purr of an incoherency, his body undulating for ever more of Seifer's thunderous affection.

"Ahh fuck! Squall, gonna come so hard inside you..." Seifer growled, sucking at Squall's shoulder as he marked him with his lips and teeth, never breaking the rhythm as he forced himself to hold back and allow Squall to come first.

"Yes... Fuck, Seifer..."

When Seifer tightened his fingers around Squall's cock, biting Squall's pale shoulder almost enough to damage him, it was too much and Squall came with a wordless cry, bucking into the hand that encircled his sex as his seed flowed over Seifer's fingers. His body clamped around Seifer, leaving him trembling at the intensity of Seifer's thrusts in the pleasure filled aftershocks that racked his body.

With a soft, disbelieving sound, Seifer thrust as deep into Squall as he could, spilling inside him for what felt like forever... But forever was over too soon and he slumped onto Squall, utterly spent. "Oh gods..."

Squall was unable to bear his own weight any longer, let alone Seifer's and he collapsed against the bed, still trembling.

Seifer was gentle when he slid from Squall's body, curling at his side and pulling him impossibly close just to feel the warmth and pleasure still tingling on Squall's skin. "It's not enough, Squall." He ground out as he tugged a blanket over their tangled forms, kissing the tousled mess of Squall's hair.

"What?" The brunet asked softly.

"One night."

"What would be?"

Seifer remained silent for a moment, the need to keep Squall as his own outweighing anything else in that moment of perfection, still lust sated and content. He didn't want to pressure his lover, nor scare him away. "How about a time frame without a definite ending?"

"What do you want from me?" Squall asked, lifting his head as though even that small movement took a great effort.

"I want everything Squall. I want you back."

"You want a lover, or less?" The smaller man's pretty mouth turned down in a frown and Seifer couldn't resist stealing a kiss.

"I want you, Squall. For keeps." Really, was forever too much to ask? All he wanted was to own and love and cherish the smaller man that still haunted him in his dreams, his thoughts. A brief doubt wormed its way into Seifer's mind, after all, he'd tortured, killed people. Did he truly deserve any happiness?

"I'm still working at Balamb, but I can come here for weekends." Squall offered shyly, looping an arm around Seifer's waist and snuggling against him beneath the warmth of the blanket.

"I can move closer to you." Seifer offered bashfully.

"Maybe we should see if this'll work first."

"Yes, of course." He nodded too quickly, the embarrassment colouring his cheeks. Seifer was so convinced that this would work out he'd never given any thought to Squall's doubts and hesitancies. The brunet curled against him, his eyelids heavy with sleep almost too hard to resist. Until Seifer spoke again. "Hey."

"What?" Squall growled, exhaustion thick in his voice.

"I didn't ask you what you wanted."

"I didn't think you could." The tone was teasing, perhaps only a little anger seeping into the words. But the hour was late, and Squall's moody tone could have been due to that alone, even if he hadn't been taken so roughly, made to come so hard.

"I can." Seifer smirked, rubbing Squall's back as though he were a cat needing to be soothed.

"...I don't know what I want. You comfort me when you're not annoying the hell out of me. I need that."

"And you make me happy when you're not being a stubborn little shit. I guess I don't need to know anything else."

"I'd like a lover." Squall admitted a smile gracing his lips again as he nuzzled against Seifer's throat. He wanted Seifer, if he had to have someone. No one else made him feel in quite the same way. No one else made him react and love and need...

"In that case..." Seifer tickled Squall's neck gently. "Look no further."

"Eh, you'll do." The smaller man muttered as he squirmed in an effort to get away from Seifer's abuse.

"Yes, I will." The blond punctuated his words with a nip at the shell of Squall's ear.

"Okay, okay." Squall finally conceded to Seifer's teasing and order, if only in the hopes of getting some sleep that night.

As far as Seifer could tell, he'd won at long last. As he drifted into the soundest sleep he'd had in over a year, he smiled contently at the thought of finally succeeding with the one thing he'd always wanted. Making Squall his.

When Seifer awoke the following morning, Squall was already gone. On the pillow beside his head, a note, and the silk panties lay, waiting for him. He couldn't help but smile when he saw the small piece of clothing, reading the note blearily when he could see well enough to make out Squall's hand writing.

Seifer memorised the number as he sat up in bed and reached for the phone.

At long last, he really had won.

Author's note: thank you for your patience the last few weeks. I am still working on hurt I promise, it should be up soon, but this has been my final month on my HNC course, so I've been working my ass off to get all my work in so I could pass. fortunately, it should all be complete now and I should hopefully be free to write once more.

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