Hurt
Chapter 8
By Darksquall
Disclaimer: the characters and places contained herein do not belong to me and I make no claim or money from this. I can't even claim responsibility for most of the idea because it came from both Race Ulfson and the song "Hurt" covered by Johnny Cash.
With many thanks to Pixie, Acid Rain and Astraea.
This fanfiction is dedicated in its entirety to Race Ulfson, also known as the beta babe who usually previews all my stuff and tells me where I've fucked up.
WARNING: SAP! fluff! three smutty scenes.
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied
Why don't you and I - Santana
The faint panic that filled Seifer when he first awoke without Squall's warm body curled against him dissipated quickly when he realised that Squall was still in the apartment. The room around him was tidier than when he'd fallen asleep. A collection of car magazines that had been spread over the glass table near the kitchen door were now neatly stacked, and if he knew Squall, they'd be in alphabetical order. A few jackets he'd tossed over the backs of chairs and general pieces of clothing were gone, the jackets hanging nearly on a row of hooks near the door.
And the most delicious smell - aside from Squall - that had ever been in his apartment was wafting in from the kitchen.
He couldn't help smiling to himself as he stretched, taking up the whole sofa for a moment before rising and ambling over to the kitchen door.
His lover was at the stove, barefoot and beautiful in black leather pants and a shirt that was so loose on Squall's slender frame that it obviously belonged to Seifer. It hung open on Squall's body, baring his chest and flaunting the silver glare of Griever against his pale skin.
"He cooks too." Seifer murmured as he slipped into the kitchen. His blonde hair was still sleep mussed; his eyes heavy with exhaustion.
"A damn sight better than you do." Squall replied, casting a glance over his shoulder to admire Seifer briefly before returning his attention to the pan on the stove. He half wondered how the kitchen had survived Seifer's attempt to cook the previous night, yielding only something fit for Geezards, the colour of a Hexadragon's scales and infinitely tougher. That had been motivation enough to cook for himself as well as Seifer. If he was expected to get better, he needed food that wasn't likely to kill him if he ate too much of it.
Seifer pulled a chair up to the table and settled in it to watch his lover. "Yeah, but I have plenty of other talents. Would you get upset if I brought home a little apron for you to wear?" Slyly, he brushed his fingers against the packet of cigarettes Squall had left on the table. It was half empty already, and he was pretty sure that it had been a full pack yesterday when Squall had pulled it from his bag.
"Depends."
"On?" One golden eyebrow arched as Seifer looked at Squall again.
"Do I have to wear just the apron?"
Sprawling in the chair, Seifer grinned to himself. "That's where I was headed with that, I'll admit."
Casting a glance over his shoulder, a faint smile curled Squall's lips prettily. Where most of his smiles never reached his eyes, this one was magnified in the stormy swirls of colour that were his irises and Seifer couldn't help but return it. Everything felt so horribly normal that he didn't dare question it further, he was afraid that if he did, he would destroy the fragile comfort that this brief perfection was bringing him.
"No frills, no flowers." he replied and turned back to the stove. Squall felt he really had no reason to complain, wearing an apron for Seifer was nothing compared to some of the outfits he'd had to wear over previous months and in truth, and he almost liked the idea.
"'Blow the cook'? In big block letters?"
"After breakfast." the brunette reached for a plate bringing it closer and dishing up the food he had prepared.
Seifer laughed, unable to believe how good it felt to have Squall in his kitchen. Cooking for him. Even if the food that smelled oh so tempting tasted as vile and disgusting as some of his own creations had, he would still enjoy it. "So, what did I do to deserve breakfast?"
"You cooked."
Cooking was not what he did. He cremated food. He destroyed ingredients. He did not cook as much as he burned and soured and ruined otherwise nutritious items. Seifer Almasy was even more dangerous with an egg beater than he was with a gunblade. "Put a lot of effort into it, too." That much was true, though he was beginning to think the harder he tried the worse he got.
"If you were trying to impress me, you failed." Squall cast one last brief glance over his shoulder before he turned off the burners. "Badly."
"So tell me, what's the way to your heart?"
"Through my ribs with a gunblade." Squall answered, a tentative smile curling his lips as he crossed the room to the table. He still felt a little dizzy and weak but stronger than he had been. As close to the old Squall as he was going to get right now, he needed time to heal and time to recover. Time to find himself again, with Seifer's help.
"Too bloody." Shaking his head, Seifer sat up again, eyeing the plate that was set in front of him. An omelette with bacon and tomatoes, it smelled even more delicious when he could see it. Of course, Squall did not bother with fussy presentation. He was far too functional to bother with creating some attempt at an over the top arrangement with the fare he had created, even if he were trying to impress his lover.
When Squall started to turn, Seifer caught his wrist. "Sit with me?" It was an aching plea. He longed to know for sure that Squall would stay with him, a hope that he couldn't force himself to put into words yet.
Hesitantly, Squall pulled up a chair and sat beside his lover, close enough for their elbows to brush as Seifer scooped up a fork full and offered it to the silent brunette. When the utensil hovered in front of him, Squall scowled at the elder man. "I made it for you, Seifer."
"And I'm going to eat it. Now shut up and take a bite."
Slender, pale fingers brushed against Seifer's wrist as Squall took the food. He swallowed, licking his lips clean, the slate storm clouds of his eyes never once wavering from Seifer's visage. He had to force himself to turn away from Squall's gaze, tasting the food and rolling his eyes in pleasure. "Oh, nice." If it was possible, it tasted even better than it smelled.
"You don't have to lie." Inching closer, the brunette rested a hand on Seifer's thigh. Squall simply wanted to touch him, to feel the heat of his body and the steady beat of his pulse against his fingers as Seifer ate. He'd seen first hand how fragile life could be and how much Seifer could be hurt, and he wanted to reassure himself that the big blonde was there, that Seifer was okay.
"Pfft. Lie. You're a hell of a cook Pee Bee. I oughta marry you." Seifer smirked, bumping against Squall gently. He admired the proud look that graced Squall's features briefly to accompany the usual 'whatever' and took a bite of bacon. "'M serious." He protested, speaking with his mouth full.
Wrinkling his nose in distaste, Squall stood to fetch a glass of juice for them both. "Taught myself in Esthar. I thought Balamb was bad for sea food but Estharians put it in everything."
"Have you eaten yet?" His breakfast almost finished, Seifer looked up at Squall as he returned to the table, setting the glasses down with a soft clunk.
"I ate while you were still snoring." Came the soft reply as Squall slid back into the chair at Seifer's side and resumed his forcefully insistent stroking of Seifer's thigh. The constant heat and steady thrum of Seifer's heartbeat was more soothing than the blonde's snoring, such an alive sound, had been earlier. Squall feared what would happen if Seifer did insist upon helping him to take on Brent and Priest; he was already more frightened by the thought of losing his lover than anything at all.
"You should have woke me. What if I wanted to have breakfast with you?" The attempt at pouting on Seifer's part was ruined by the mischievous gleam to his perfectly clear eyes. He always had trouble hiding how he felt or what he was thinking behind anything save for an arrogant smirk. Lowering his hand to cover the one on his thigh, he squeezed gently, a reassuring gesture that earned him a smile in thanks.
"You looked peaceful."
"Hey, Leonhart." When Squall pushed the glass of juice closer to Seifer's hand and lifted his gaze to his blonde lover, the older man smiled. Taking a long drink, savouring the sweet citrus flavour, Seifer set the glass down beside his plate and looked at Squall seriously. "I love you."
The corner of Squall's mouth twitched up slightly in a small, playful smile. "Not just for my culinary skills?"
"Nope. I bet I'd love you even if you were an awful housewife." Nodding just once as though that would prevent any further argument on the subject, Seifer half turned in his seat to look at Squall more seriously.
Shaking his head in exasperation, Squall leaned against Seifer's side. "I love you too, puppy."
The smile that curled Seifer's lips was nothing less than beautiful. Squall had never been all that good at reading peoples expressions but this smile seemed designed to prove to him just how serious Seifer was, and just how strong his feelings were. He was left in no doubt that Seifer cared deeply for him, loved him. He'd never been so afraid of losing someone as he was in that moment and yet he didn't want to push Seifer away. He wanted to gather him close and make him want to stay.
"Enough to stay in my bed tonight?" Seifer asked softly, trying to hold the hope back from his voice but failing miserably.
"I said one night away from it, didn't I?" Squall looked faintly smug, his fingertips still moving in small circles on Seifer's thigh over his pulse. He had to prove to himself as much as Seifer that he wasn't just a toy to be used, and that he had some measure of control in their relationship. It had worked, even if Seifer had followed him. It had proved to Squall that he did have control over Seifer.
"I'd forgotten how stubborn you are." The blonde shook his head in exasperation.
Leaning closer, Squall brushed his lips over Seifer's so softly, so gently that had Seifer not seen Squall move and kiss him, he would have believed he'd dreamed it. "I've had my one night." He whispered, his storm grey eyes twin pools of calm and collected seriousness. "Now I want my knight."
Just the kiss itself had made Seifer's heartbeat race, encouraged him to lift his hands to cup Squall's cheek, framing his face with tanned skin and watching him briefly before he stole a kiss of his own from the quiet young man. "That's the one thing you never have to worry about losing."
"I didn't think you'd really follow me."
"Now you know better." Seifer stated, wearing his familiar smirk with ease. "For next time."
Provided Seifer didn't piss him off, there wouldn't be a next time. And if Seifer did piss him off, he'd be the one to have to take the couch, Squall decided. "Can I ask you something?" the brunette enquired softly, his eyes flickering from Seifer's lips to his eyes and back again.
"Of course."
"If I'm paranoid, what does keeping a loaded twelve bore shotgun under your bed make you? I stubbed my toe on the damn case when I was making the bed."
Seifer blinked at Squall in surprise, and laughed. The question had been the last of the things he'd been expecting to hear from Squall's lips, waiting for something about their relationship or their past, not about the resident artillery. "You are paranoid." Seifer nudged his lover gently, taking a swift drink from the glass of juice on the table again. "I'm just trigger happy."
"Mmm, I remember." Squall leant away from Seifer, resting his head on one hand as he gazed at the handsome blonde he was sharing a bed with. Of course he remembered. Every time he looked at the face that glared back at him in the mirror, he was reminded of the trigger happy Seifer. Over the years it had been something he'd hated, the constant reminder of what he no longer had, as well as something that had grounded and comforted him. "Thanks."
Wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, Seifer tipped his head to one side, listening curiously. "For what? Showing you where the artillery is kept?"
"For not giving up on me." The brunette replied softly, keeping his eyes firmly locked with the vibrant jade glitter of Seifer's gaze. He kept his voice deliberately soft, quieting even further when he continued "even when I'd given up on myself."
The statement filled Seifer with pride. Of course he'd known that he was helping Squall, but the younger man admitting it made the help that he'd offered seem more tangible somehow. Real and more distinct somehow, though it was probably just his imagination. Ignoring the feelings, he reached out to tuck a still too dark strand of Squall's hair behind his ear. "You just needed a little boost. That's all. And I've always believed in you, Squall."
"I've changed, Seifer." Squall straightened, letting Seifer's fingers brush his cheek gently as he sat up. The strand of hair tumbled loose again with the movement. "I'm not the kid I was when we were together. The war... the last four years. Hell, I learnt o talk again." Even though he was dreading the answer, Squall gave Seifer his most serious look to ask "Sure you want me like this?"
With a loud scraping, whining protest of wood on ceramic floor tiles, Seifer pulled Squall's chair closer to him. When the younger man was close enough, Seifer wrapped an arm around him and kissed him. He tried to fill the kiss with every bit of heat, passion and lust he felt for the smaller man, that he'd ever felt for Squall Leonhart, as well as the love and need he feared would consume him at any given moment.
He barely pulled away from Squall when he spoke again, his lips brushing against the brunette's when he spoke again. "You are crazy. I've been waiting for this for as long as I can remember."
"Just don't say I didn't warn you." Squall sighed.
"I won't." Seifer smiled as he lifted Squall's hand to kiss his palm gently.
"And promise you'll never cook for me again." The request was spoken in a somewhat amused tone of voice but as with almost everything Squall said, it was deadly serious.
Laying one hand over his heart, Seifer levelled a solemn stare at his lover, as seriously as he would swear allegiance or give an oath as he spoke clearly and slowly. "I give you my word." He couldn't suppress little smile though, and didn't bother trying.
"My stomach thanks you." Squall tipped his head to the side, his gaze locked with Seifer's.
Seifer loved Squall's eyes. Rolling silver tinged storm clouds, like pools of mercury and the deepest blue sea water. Sometimes they seemed blue, others grey. He'd never thought he'd miss the ice frost of Shiva's junction in Squall's eyes that added little icy glitter that seemed to make the ice princess into a real ice princess.
"Hey, that goes both ways." He murmured with a serious nod, still focused on Squall's eyes.
Tipping his head to examine the chair Seifer was seated on, Squall smiled wickedly. "The rest of my body wants to thank you too." He murmured, wondering just how sturdy that chair was and whether it could take what he had in mind.
Seifer hooked a finger in the thick chain of Squall's pendant, pulling him a little closer and leaning in to kiss the underside of his jaw. Squall still smelled of the shampoo he'd used on the brunette, and that soft musk of leather and almonds would always remind him of a moody and yet beautiful boy he'd grown up with and grown to love. "I would enjoy the gratitude."
Carefully, Squall slid into Seifer's lap with a little aid from the blonde. He faced the taller man as he slid his legs around Seifer's waist with a refined grace that he couldn't have imagined even the previous day, let alone the handful before it when his back was a constant fire of agony. While the pain had subsided, he was still a little sore and stiff, enough to remind him to be careful as he bared his throat to Seifer in a gesture near submission.
Seifer noted the fragile look his lover had given him before he'd let his head fall back, before he'd given himself over to the kisses against his throat so completely. With a hand on the back of Squall's head, holding the smaller man in his lap gently, Seifer made the brunette lift his head to press soft, reverent kisses over Squall's cheeks and eyelids. "I think I'm ready to go back to bed." He murmured against Squall's skin.
"Too far." Squall murmured huskily, turning his head to catch Seifer's lips in a longing kiss.
"Hmm..." The blonde grinned wickedly. "The sofa?"
With a gentle fingertip, Squall traced the outline of Seifer's choker carefully, thoughtfully. He couldn't imagine Seifer without the piece of jewellery or the scar any more, though he was starting to believe that he could forget the trench coat that had once adorned the knight almost constantly. "Still too far," Squall whispered as he nipped Seifer's earlobe sharply.
"How about right here?" Seifer suggested at last, grinding against Squall, feeling his cock thicken and harden through the leather at the contact.
"Now you're getting it." Capturing his lover's lips in a violently hard kiss, pushing his tongue deep into Seifer's mouth and just tasting his lover, Squall let himself go. He could think of nothing else but how good Seifer's body felt, how good Seifer had felt inside him the previous day and he wanted it again. As Seifer's hand tangled in his still too dark locks and caught the back of his head in an effort to hold him there, he whimpered his need softly.
With a gasp as Squall's fingers curled around his nipple, rolling it between his fingertips and flicking the hard peak gently, Seifer broke the kiss to moan his appreciation so softly it almost sounded like a purr. He could feel Squall's length hard against him and hardly dared believe it was happening. His lion had changed, He'd seen enough evidence of that the previous day but this, this was a whole new ball game and he liked it.
However, when Squall slid off his lap just as he'd slid onto it, Seifer couldn't still a whine of disappointment that echoed from his throat. "Come back here."
He caught a flash of a knowing smile from Squall's perfect mouth as the brunette stripped off his leather pants. The beautiful, pale creature he was lucky enough to share a bed with was wearing nothing beneath the leather, his cock standing full, flushed and erect.
"You're so lewd sometimes. Where's your underwear?" Seifer couldn't help licking his lips gently as he watched the pale flesh being revealed to him like the most precious of treasures.
"I own all of three pairs and every one is to go with that dress." Squall smirked faintly.
Even the very mention of The Dress made Seifer's bones melt and his cock throb harder. He would have Squall in it again, he swore to himself; he'd watch the pretty brunette writhe on his cock in that piece of clothing or die trying.
With a small smile still firmly in place on his lips, Squall slipped out of the room, quickly returning with a bottle of lubricant from the bedroom but pausing in the doorway. "Why do you still have your pants on, Almasy?" He asked, scowling moodily.
"Working on that now." Seifer fumbled with the button of his pants, unable to tear his gaze away from the pale, elegant creature standing in the kitchen doorway.
Squall was leaning against the door frame, still hard, still beautiful, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other hanging loosely by his side, the small plastic bottle dangling from his fingertips loosely. His hair hung over his perfect eyes, partially obscured by the too dark locks of soft hair. Seifer wanted to brush them aside so he could gaze into those perfect eyes again, but in the same breath he wanted the hair to remain like that, to let his little lion hide away when he needed to.
"And you haven't seen lewd, Almasy."
Seifer kicked off his pants, standing as though awaiting Squall's approval. "You should show me, then."
With Seifer only wearing his choker and a pair of skin tight red boxer briefs that he was tenting impressively, Squall could see how much Seifer had changed since Garden. Broad shouldered, still tanned to a perfect golden tone, he'd grown up. He knew for himself that those well defined muscles weren't just for show. Seifer was strong; strong enough to make him feel safe in his embrace, and perhaps that was what he needed. Someone who could be strong for him, so he wouldn't be forced into playing the hero, like he had with Rinoa.
He didn't want to be just a little "wife" for Seifer any more than he wanted someone to play that role for him. Squall wanted, needed an equal. A challenge. A real lover that wouldn't make him feel useless or used up.
Crossing to the table, Squall pushed the plates away and eased Seifer backwards onto the table, forcing him to scoot across the polished surface of the wood. "Later." He said, a wicked smile at the thought of what Seifer's reaction to some of the toys he kept hidden in his dorm would be.
"What's this Leonhart?" Seifer looked at him with wide, shocked eyes, still smiling despite the look of surprise that had consumed his features. "A little switch?"
Straddling his lover's hips, teasing him gently through the soft cotton of his briefs, Squall smiled. "You said this was what you wanted." He murmured, leaning down low over Seifer to steal a longing kiss. Now he was getting his strength back, he wanted to give Seifer what he'd asked for the previous day, he wanted to ride him, move on him. "I think I can handle it now."
"Let's see you handle it." The taller man breathed against Squall's lips so softly Squall almost missed it, sealing the challenge with a soft, loving kiss.
The material of Seifer's shorts yielded swiftly to Squall's fingertips, letting his hard cock free to rub against Squall's lean belly. He took his time in pouring the sweet smelling lubricant out onto his palm, wrapping his hand around the arc of Seifer's sex and stroking him slowly, firmly. He wanted to make the blonde man beneath him shudder with pleasure just with the touch, and he was succeeding.
"Ahh, Squall..." Seifer gasped, arching into the touch, rolling his hips eagerly.
"Good?"
"More than good." Seifer hissed softly, biting his lip to still his moans.
Finally, Squall released Seifer carefully. He half wanted to keep going, hear Seifer beg for release, for his pleasure, but that would come later. All he could think about was having Seifer inside him, thick and hot again. Lifting himself on his knees, he slid a hand down between his thighs and pushed two fingers into himself, forcing them deep and hard. It wasn't the worst he'd endured in recent years; he could take the faint pain easily.
Sometimes he liked it better that way.
"I... I missed you." The smaller man whispered breathily, watching Seifer through his dark lashes as he scissored the fingers inside himself. "I need... to say that."
"I know, baby." The blonde whispered, lifting his head to watch the brunette preparing himself. Just knowing what Squall was doing was enough to make his cock jerk. Some time he'd watch that, he swore to himself, watch Squall touching himself just to see the pretty brunette writhing as he took his pleasure. "I missed you. So much."
"I mean as me." Squall whimpered as a shudder of pleasure rolled through his body. "Near to the old me as you'll get, any way." His eyes finally fluttered closed, a look of bliss on his face and his mouth slack with the pleasure.
Gently, his touch as light as breath on Squall's skin, Seifer brushed his fingertips along Squall's neck and his shoulder. He just wanted to touch the younger man, feel him so perfect and beautiful, so warm. He didn't think he'd ever get over how warm Squall could feel, even with the fever subsided. He was so used to feeling that pale skin when it was touched by the cold kiss of Shiva's junction. "You and me – this is how things were meant to be between us."
"With me on top?" Squall asked as he pulled his fingers out of his body, his tone light and teasing.
"Nah." Seifer caught Squall's hand and pulled it up to rub his cheek against the palm. He'd have given anything to have changed Squall's life, to make him happy, to be there for him and just love him like he'd always wanted to. He knew Squall had some growing up to do, but he was determined to make it last this time, be what Squall wanted, and help him accept what he needed. "That was just luck on your part."
"Whatever." The brunette replied fondly, drawing his thumb over Seifer's full lips as though memorising the shape, the feel, the kiss.
"Mount up hot stuff." The elder man ordered as he rocked up against Squall, his slick cock sliding along the cleft of the brunette's ass as he moved, bracing his hands on Squall's hips. He still adored the subtle curve of flesh and bone there, the way it felt and looked. Even if the finest artisan had tried for a hundred years, they'd never have been able to match that perfection. Unless they felt it for themselves of course, and Seifer wasn't about to let anyone ever put a finger on his Squall ever again. "I've waited long enough."
"I should make you wait for that." Squall frowned teasingly, sliding his hands over Seifer's chest and down over his belly, letting the fingers of one hand brush through the thick curls at the base of Seifer's cock before rubbing against the flushed flesh. They both knew he'd never be able to wait, but he had to point out the possibility to Seifer.
Seifer lifted his head to trace his tongue along the soft flesh of Squall's pale throat, tasting him. "C'mon Squall."
Without another word, Squall positioned Seifer's cock against his entrance and forced himself back onto it as quickly as he could. At the pressure of the length inside him, stretching him, making his breath catch at the fullness, the brunette couldn't still a moan of pleasure, his mouth falling open as he slid back further.
"Fuck..." the sudden pressure around his cock, the heat and sensation marrying to be a dizzying combination of pleasure that he always believed would never be matched until the next time made his breath catch in his throat and the room spin briefly. Suddenly Squall's lips were on his and he desperately returned it, lost in the touch of his lover's lips and the tightness of his body. He felt as though he was lost and falling, but he knew Squall would be there to catch him.
His hands splayed on Seifer's chest, Squall forced himself to rise slowly on Seifer's cock, suddenly forcing himself back to take it in once more. The pleasure was so intense, dizzying, blinding that he could hardly breathe any more.
Squall never wanted it to end.
"Take it in all the way..." Seifer hissed, his tone pleading. His breathing rasped in his chest, a ragged counterpoint to Squall's. It had been too long, even the previous day's escapades had done nothing to cool his ardour or sate the desire that lingered in his system for the quiet brunette. Seifer half believed that he could spend a whole life time in bed with Squall and still be longing for more.
He sat up slowly, sliding back and taking Seifer's cock so deep into himself he couldn't still the guttural moan of Seifer's name from spilling from his lips. Squall couldn't move, he couldn't even breathe for a moment, the feeling of being so full enough to make him ball his hands into fists, his nails leaving small half circles in the lightly calloused flesh of his palms.
By the time he'd gotten a grip on himself again, Seifer was thrusting up into him, watching him for any sign of weakness or discomfort but finding none. Squall's gaze, dark as summer storm clouds and rolling with thunder and danger, locked with his, as though daring Seifer to fuck him harder, as deep as he could.
Squall moved with Seifer, dragging his nails down Seifer's chest when he could flex his fingers. He liked it rough.
Gripping Squall's wrists in one hand, Seifer pinned the pale hands to his chest. He continued to thrust up into Squall hard, as though he needed to leave some mark on the brunette besides the pretty scar that looked so perfect on his pale skin. With each swift movement of his hips, Squall's body shuddered around him, a hot blush rising on his cheeks.
"Mine. You're mine." Seifer growled.
Almost unable to speak, Squall simply nodded. He'd always been Seifer's, since the first time they'd fucked, since the first night. And probably before that too, when he'd wanted to touch the blonde boy who haunted his dreams and stalked his days. There was no use fighting it any more, he was more addicted to Seifer than Rapture.
At least the symptoms of his withdrawal were low enough to deal with now. Though if he ever had to give Seifer up again, he knew it would kill him this time.
"C'mon Squall – ride me." Seifer kept his grip firm on Squall's wrists, sliding his other hand down to stroke the weeping arc of Squall's cock as he moved.
He only had a moment to view the most wicked of smirks he'd ever seen on Squall's lips before Squall did just that, bucking into Seifer's touch and forcing himself back on Seifer's cock as hard as he could. With a wordless husky growl of need and lust, he moved as fast and hard as he could, his fingers flexing against Seifer's skin uselessly.
"Yeah, fuck me. Squall, I want to come..." The elder man panted as he tipped his head back, forcing himself to hold still and just feel the tight heat around him. He knew if he had tried to move, he would have found his release right there and he wanted Squall to come first.
"I'm close... fuck..." Squall whimpered, riding Seifer's cock as hard and fast as he could manage, his head lolling forward onto his chest as he circled his hips, milking Seifer's cock with his body. No matter how much he wanted to keep moving, keep that delicious friction and pleasure going and just feel Seifer, he knew it would be over soon.
"Gods... so am I." Bracing a hand on Squall's shoulder, working his cock as roughly as he could, Seifer forced himself to keep his eyes open. He wanted to watch, to see the way the flush of pleasure bled through Squall's skin, the way he looked when he was consumed by pleasure.
Squall bucked into the touch on his cock, arching and crying out in pleasure as he came, squeezing around Seifer's cock and coating his fingers with his release.
No matter how he longed to wrap his arms around Squall and hold him as he came, Seifer was trapped beneath him, forced to watch him as he found his pleasure. Watching his beautiful face, watching the release gather him and make every cell of Squall's body cry out in unison, Seifer couldn't hold back and buried himself inside Squall's tight body, coming deep inside him, Squall's name a low groan on his lips.
The smaller man couldn't help still rolling his hips gently before he finally slumped down on top of Seifer with a whimper of unrestrained gratification. "Mmm, Seifer..." he husked, the name muffled against Seifer's cheek. He found his eyelashes were damp, but he couldn't bring himself to be ashamed of the fact.
Suddenly Seifer's arms were around him and holding him tight, cradling him against the strong chest. "You are, hands down, the absolute best fuck of my life."
"How many others have you had, Almasy?" the brunette asked softly, trailing his fingers in small restless circles on Seifer's throat.
"Oh, a few." He hoped that would sate Squall's curiosity and attempted to distract the brunette by nibbling along his jaw. However, Squall was the most stubborn young man he had ever had the misfortune to meet let alone fall in love with and as such, the issue didn't rest.
"How many?"
Seifer paused briefly. He didn't want to tell Squall. He didn't want to admit that he'd had very few lovers since Squall had spoiled him for anyone else. "You really want a number?"
"Tell me if you feel comfortable with it." Squall lifted his head and caught Seifer in his storm cloud gaze and Seifer knew he had no chance of avoiding the question or lying to the brunette when he did that.
"I don't mind if you don't."
"I'm going to be jealous anyway."
"Besides you? Two others. For really pathetic reasons." Seifer whispered, distracting himself with kissing Squall's pale, perfect throat. He was so relieved all the small marks were gone now, that he could no longer see or feel the evidence of the fuck sessions his lover had been through. He could almost imagine Squall hadn't been with anyone else with them gone, that his lover was as perfect as he'd always been.
But when it was all said and done, he didn't care that Squall had been with other people. Especially not when he could see how it had broken the little lion. He'd save him. He swore that.
"You're the only person I've slept with that I cared about, aside from her."
"You're the only one I've ever loved. You're the only one I ever will." Seifer whispered against Squall's ear, kissing his cheek and holding him tight. He didn't want to let go, ever again.
Trailing his fingers over the cool metal of Seifer's choker, Squall lifted his head to watch his lover. A tiny smile graced his lips, the admission touching him and making him feel so good he hardly dared believe it was possible. "I promise I'll stay in your bed as often as I can."
"Long as you're someplace nearby. I think I can handle it." Seifer watched Squall, trying to gauge his reaction, but the soft kiss the brunette pressed to his lips distracted him from the task and he forgot he'd ever wanted to see what that statement made Squall feel. "You won't mind eating off this table later, will you?"
"I will use you as my table."
The deadpan tone of Squall's voice bought a grin to Seifer's face. "You're still cooking right?"
"For my own health, yes." Squall nodded and stretched a little stiffly, his back complaining at the discomfort. He knew it was mostly healed but needed more rest to make sure it was fully recovered. His shoulder still ached dully, and while it did feel much better than it had, he still knew that it needed more healing, and definitely needed more time.
"Then you may eat off me whenever you want." The blonde sounded as though he were a king, giving permission for a portrait to be painted with a wave of his hand.
Squall couldn't suppress a snicker and slid off the table, stretching and trying to ignore the faint soreness from their somewhat violent sex session. "I'll make you clean the table. Let's move."
"Do I have to?" Seifer pouted and groaned.
"Only as far as the bed."
The suggestion of the bed was very welcome, and the thought of Squall being in it with him again did nothing to lessen the appeal. Still, it took a concentrated effort to scoot to the edge of the table and stand up, grunting softly in discomfort. He could only imagine how Squall must have felt. "I think you broke me, Leonhart." He accused, aiming a playful swipe at Squall's hair and ruffling the dark chocolate locks.
"Out of practice?" Squall asked smugly, taking Seifer's hand in his.
He looked down at the tangle of their fingers, Seifer's hand seeming to dwarf his despite the fact the blonde was only actually six inches taller than he was. He knew it was simply an illusion deep down, but the pallor of his skin, the slenderness of his fingers made it seem as though it would be completely enveloped by Seifer's hand.
He knew Seifer could hurt him easily. He'd fought with him and trained with him until exhausted and he knew that he was capable of violence, murder and he'd never doubted it for a minute. It was less surprising than finding out Seifer Almasy was capable of loving him. But the hands that looked so strong around his own had been so gentle with him.
Squall lifted the hand to his mouth and kissed one of Seifer's knuckles gently, a silent thank you for the care he'd shown. One day he'd find a way to really thank Seifer, he swore that on Lionheart.
"A little." Seifer admitted in answer to his question, his tone sheepish and shy.
With a look that left no doubt in Seifer's mind that Squall was very up for practicing, the smaller man led him to the bedroom in silence.
The room, just like the lounge, had been tidied. His clothes were folded and placed in neat piles, the magazines and books were gathered and placed out of the way, and the picture that Seifer had never been able to get to lie horizontal no matter how much prodding and poking and attention he gave to the task was now on a perfect horizontal alignment. The bed was made, corners tucked with military precision, something he'd not bothered with for years.
He looked around as though seeing the room for the first time before turning his attention back to the faintly blushing brunette at his side. "Was the cleaning fairy here?"
"Fairy part's right." Squall muttered, rolling his eyes and, pulling the bed clothes back, crawled into Seifer's bed. Their bed.
"I was right." Seifer nodded emphatically and wasted no time in joining his lover, stretching out along side Squall, resting a hand on his belly. "You're such a good wife."
"I am not a wife."
"But you'll be mine..." Seifer crawled over his lover, lapping at the soft skin of his throat and nipping at him lightly. He wanted to mark him again, leave a more loving sign of ownership on the pale flesh, something that marked him as a lover. The scar marked him an equal and a rival. He needed something more. "Won't you?" He asked, his voice deep with amusement.
"Whatever." Squall responded, scrubbing his fingers through Seifer's hair and ruffling the blonde locks. It suddenly didn't seem so bad, being like this with Seifer. Even if he did object to the term "wife".
"Is that a yes?" Seifer tickled Squall's stomach and sides lightly, knowing that Squall couldn't resist that treatment for very long, and that he would yield to almost anything so long as he didn't give up tickling before he got an agreement.
With a soft cry of surprise, Squall squirmed violently in place. "Yes, puppy..." He surrendered and grabbed for Seifer's hands. Squall half wondered what the sorceress would have said if she'd realised she didn't need electric shock torture to get the truth from him after all, and that he would have given up to a lanky blonde and five minutes of tickling.
"Love you."
"Wonder if I have a leash somewhere..." Squall frowned thoughtfully, not missing the frown and the snort of derision from his lover.
"Leash. I don't think so." Seifer scowled, wrapping his arms around Squall and holding him close. He buried his nose in the soft waves of Squall's hair, rubbing his back as though in an attempt to soothe him, though he didn't know what for.
He could feel Squall relaxing against him, as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he wondered what had changed. He almost missed the soft declaration that spilled from Squall's lips. "I love you."
"How much?"
"...Enough to trust you. You sound like a teenager." Squall accused as he pinched Seifer's ass gently. He couldn't bring himself to put into words just how much he loved Seifer yet, he wasn't sure he knew, nor if he knew enough words to give voice to it.
"Making up for lost time." The blonde replied, pressing a kiss to his lover's hair and smiling smugly. He loved to hear Squall admit his love, and wanted to hear it over and over again. He doubted anyone would blame him though.
"Do you trust me?"
The question was enough to make Seifer lift his head to look at Squall, his lips turned down in a faint, worried frown. He seemed more serious than he had all day, concerned for his lover, and curious as to his motives. "Of course I do."
"How much?" Squall asked softly, squeezing his hands on Seifer's ass and palming him firmly.
"More than anyone else."
A fingertip teased over Seifer's opening gently, making him shiver and pause in his ministrations to the younger man's pale skin. He couldn't stop the soft sound that spilled from his lips, surprised, and excited by the new touch.
"Enough to...?" Squall's voice was soft and hopeful as he continued to brush his finger over the ring of muscle gently, the thought of taking Seifer making his cock hard already.
"You want to fuck me?" The blonde murmured. His voice was unusually quiet, a testament to his disbelief. All that time they'd spent together and Squall had never once mentioned topping him, taking him. Why now? Was it just to test his trust? He lifted his eyes to meet Squall's cool blue-grey gaze, the younger man's irises as stormy as they'd always been, darkened with lust and longing.
No, he didn't want to fuck Seifer. He wanted to make love to him, with him... but he feared if he spoke that desire he'd be laughed out of their bed. In a way, sex between them had always been "making love"; it had made Squall love him. However, he couldn't put a voice to those thoughts and simply nodded, his voice soft. "Yeah."
Seifer touched his fingertips to Squall's cheek, keeping his expression oddly shuttered. He'd never considered allowing someone to take him, allowing someone to be inside him. The thought was not repulsive; he just hadn't ever considered the option. It would have to be an equal, a rival, someone like... well, Squall. "...Okay."
"What are you feeling?" the brunette asked softly, trailing his fingertips along Seifer's wrist and resting his hand on Seifer's forearm. He didn't blink, didn't look away from his lover even once, watching him with intensely beautiful eyes.
"Just you."
With a worried tone of voice, the brunette moved closer, pressing a soft, brief kiss to Seifer's lips before he pulled away again. "Are you...scared?"
Seifer very nearly laughed at the prospect, but even a smile felt like it would be too much for his serious little lion at that moment. He knew it would have been too much and feared making Squall shut down as much as he feared loosing him. He couldn't do that to Squall any more. "No. Not with you."
"Let me make you feel good." The younger man implored.
"You don't have to ask." The blonde shrugged lightly and lifted Squall's hand to his mouth to kiss each fingertip in turn. "I'm yours too."
There was a conflicted look in Squall's eyes for a moment, the old cracked mask firmly in place and preventing Seifer from seeing what Squall really felt. He remained silent for a moment, emotions closed up and encased in ice while he figured out what he wanted. Seifer knew better than to interrupt him while he was thinking this time. "Lie on your front for me." He said finally, a ghost of a smile teasing his lips.
Doing as he was commanded, Seifer slid off of his lover and rolled onto his belly in the middle of the bed, glancing over his shoulder at Squall. His emerald gaze was deadly serious, and not a hint of fear showed through.
Squall's warm hands slid over Seifer's muscular back, fingertips teasing out the knots of stress he found and soothing the skin carefully. There was little tension in Seifer's body, his eyes giving away his trust and faith in his lover. Even though he'd never done this before, he trusted Squall.
If he hadn't already known he was in love with Seifer, that might have decided him right there.
"Have you done this much?" Seifer asked, letting his head rest on the soft cotton pillow case and just enjoying the tender touch against his skin.
"Once... twice... I know how to be gentle."
A gentle kiss against Seifer's shoulder made him turn his head and he felt Squall's soft cheek nuzzling against his own. The contact was so reassuring, so tender and loving he hardly dared breathe and he could barely believe his luck when it didn't pull away. Squall was real and he felt like the luckiest guy in all of Deling city. "I trust you."
"Never done this with anyone that meant something. I love you." Squall kissed Seifer's cheek and nuzzled against him once more. He could feel the roughness of Seifer's chin, he hadn't shaved since late the previous night and it felt... good. Somehow it made him feel more alive, even though he knew it would quickly wear on his nerves.
"I love you too." He whispered in response, reaching up to hold Squall still for a moment, fingers petting the soft deep brown locks of Squall's hair soothingly. He wanted to stay like that, he wanted Squall to keep still and stay there forever. When Squall stretched over him, barely a tangible weight and certainly nothing like he'd once been, Seifer was reminded just how much his lover had changed, and how far he had to go to recover.
"Hyne, were you always this hot?"
"Think so."
"Hot to the touch, Almasy. Not fuck me through a mattress hot." Squall pinched Seifer's side gently, even though he believed both were painfully true.
"That's what I meant." Seifer protested with a soft laugh.
"Riiiight." Squall couldn't prevent a smile curling his lips nor resist nibbling at Seifer's earlobe gently.
Seifer turned his head, pulling away from the treatment of his earlobe and catching Squall's eyes. "I think it's because of you." He grinned when he saw how confused his words made the younger man and explained "You get me hot."
"Oh. Purely for my own benefit, I assure you." The brunette teased. And when his lips caught Seifer's, he could only return it reverently, letting the younger man feel all of his love through just that kiss. He wanted to roll Squall over and be inside him again, and only the knowledge that Squall wanted more than that held him back from just doing it. He wanted Squall's happiness.
When Squall broke the kiss, smiling, Seifer felt his heart beat faster. He'd rarely seen a real, open smile from the lion of Balamb garden and every time he did, it made his head spin and his breath catch. The smile may have been small and shy, but it showed the potential, showed what it could be if Seifer could keep his temper in check long enough to see it.
"You're so beautiful. I'm still not used to that smile of yours."
"Told you I'd changed, Almasy." Squall averted his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Seifer's reaction to the blush that made his cheeks flush red. He didn't realise that the blush had just as much effect on Seifer as the smiles did.
"I believe it." The blonde smiled in return, bumping his head against Squall's fondly. One day he'd see the smile as real and full as it could be, see the real Squall Leonhart in all his glory. He swore that.
With one last, brief kiss, Squall slunk down Seifer's back. He nipped and licked his way along Seifer's spine, letting one fingertip ghost along the cleft of Seifer's ass tauntingly. "I've always wanted to do this." He admitted, at last, pooling kisses at the small of Seifer's back and stroking his thighs soothingly. "You can tell me to stop."
"I won't." The elder man couldn't prevent himself from becoming a little tense, though that was because Squall's touch always teased reactions from him that he had no control over.
"But you can."
Lifting his head, Seifer turned to look at Squall over his shoulder, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I would never want to."
Squall rolled his eyes and scowled at Seifer briefly. "Stop being so Hyne damned awkward." He ordered, pinching Seifer's ass lightly. "I just want you to know." And with that, he lowered his head, flicking his tongue over the knot of Seifer's opening and pushed his tongue inside him, his hands braced on Seifer's thighs.
"Point taken... oh gods keep doing that." Seifer murmured, a soft, lustful sound spilling from his lips as he arched up into the contact. "Squall..."
The brunette simply remained silent, swirling his tongue inside his lover and thrusting it into him gently. He was determined that no matter what, Seifer would want to do this again. Even if it took all day. He was stubborn enough to make it last a week after all
The way Squall's tongue felt as it moved inside him, so gentle, so hot he could barely think, made Seifer's head spin. He spread his legs wider, hoping for more, for something deeper. With a low, urgent purr of a sound echoing from his throat that surprised even him, he ground his cock against the sheets beneath him, shifting restlessly. The touch was almost too much, and he found himself whimpering with pleasure. "I'm gonna come if you keep doing that, Leonhart."
When Squall pulled away from him, he whined at the loss of contact. He wanted it back, wanted Squall to keep going, keep touching him just like that.
"If you keep making those sounds, you won't be the only one." Slicking his fingers with the bottle of lubricant from the night stand, Squall traced Seifer's entrance gently. Laying over Seifer, he could feel his cock, heavy and throbbing against Seifer's thigh at the prospect of what he was longing for finally coming to fruition and that was the only thing that kept him from simply using his fingers and tongue to bring Seifer to orgasm. Just to prove he could.
There would be time for that later.
"Hyne, yes..." Seifer cried out as a finger slipped into him gently, the very tip rubbing against his prostate firmly. His whole body felt as though it were on fire, his breath echoing in his ears. When the second finger slid into him, stretching him to ready his body for Squall's cock, he cried aloud. "Squall..."
"This is how you've been making me feel for years." Squall husked against his ear, his fingertips manipulating that spot inside of Seifer that made the blonde see stars.
"Sh.... Show me the rest." Seifer gasped, fisting his hands in the blankets in an effort to not cry out. He could feel Squall's heartbeat against his back, a heavy rhythm that seemed to rival his own for speed and intensity and he wondered if Squall had felt like this his first time. Though..., back then, they hadn't know they'd loved each other. The thought was somewhat sobering and he swore to himself silently, someday he'd make Squall realise just what he meant and how much he loved him. He'd see the ice in those eyes melt.
Suddenly the touch was gone and he felt so empty he didn't dare breathe. As Squall sat back, slicking his cock with the sweet smelling lubricant he lifted himself to his hands and knees. His sex was hard, leaking against his belly, his whole body was flushed with arousal and he couldn't think of anything but having something inside him again. "Fuck me, Squall. Fuck me like you always wanted to."
Positioning himself at Seifer's opening, the brunette looked up at him. Licking his lips, trying not to let any of the emotions that were at war within him out into his voice, he stated softly "It's not fucking."
"No." Seifer agreed, his eyes closed and his body braced for Squall's entry. He could feel the pressure of Squall's length at his opening and he wanted to feel it filling him up so badly but his heart was heavy with Squall's words, knowing that his lover had finally realised the truth. It hadn't ever been just fucking; it hadn't ever been just physical. This was real love and he didn't want to change a thing. "No, not with you. Not ever with you."
Squall pushed into Seifer slowly, pausing just for a heartbeat when the head of his cock slid into Seifer's tight body. He couldn't still a moan as he rocked deeper into his lover, feeling the hot, slick muscle squeeze him tighter than he'd ever dreamed possible.
The taller man's breathing became more and more ragged the deeper Squall slid into his body, his hands grasping at the bed sheets restlessly. The length inside him felt so good, filling him, making him shudder with pleasure when it pressed against places he'd never dreamed could bring about such pleasure, even though he'd seen Squall writhe and moan on his cock time and time again. "Squall..." he whispered, barely coherent enough to think of anything but his lover's name.
"Seifer, gods." Squall whimpered, leaning down over his lover and wrapping his arms around Seifer's waist. Burying himself completely inside his lover, he trembled. He'd imagined this before when they'd been together, how good it would be to be inside his lover and how much he longed to take him but the fantasy had never been as perfect as the reality felt at that moment.
"You feel... so good." Seifer murmured in disbelief.
The brunette didn't respond verbally, choosing instead to thrust into his lover a little harder, still being careful and trying not to hurt Seifer. If he couldn't do this again, he swore he'd die.
Carefully, Squall pressed his palm against Seifer's cock. He didn't take him in hand, didn't stroke him or give him the friction he so desperately wanted, simply used his palm to hold Seifer's weeping cock hard against his belly, the lube still on his palm allowing Seifer to slide freely against his touch.
"Just like that, don't stop." Seifer begged, pushing himself back against Squall's body harder, desperately seeking his release already. He turned his head, seeking kisses, crying breathlessly when Squall's lips found his own and the brunette began to thrust into him harder.
He'd known for a while that he loved Squall Leonhart more than anything in the world. But never, never could he have imagined he would feel as intensely as he did at that moment with Squall in him, over him, filling every sense to the point that he thought if Squall stopped his heart would simply break. "I love you." Seifer whimpered, tossing his head restlessly.
Pressing his cheek to Seifer's as he continued to buck into him deep and hard, filling him over and over, Squall realised that he couldn't imagine being without Seifer ever again. He couldn't imagine leaving even though he knew he had to. "You too..."
"I... I want to feel you come inside me." Seifer panted, lowering his shoulders to rest on the bed, the shift in angle of Squall's thrusts making him see stars for a moment.
The thought of hearing Seifer Almasy say something like that might very well have made him laugh if he hadn't been, at that precise moment, buried completely inside Seifer. Rather than speak and risk embarrassing them both, he palmed Seifer's cock, stroking him roughly as he bucked into his lover, each thrust angled to strike Seifer's prostate.
"Gods, you're gonna make me come, Squall..." Seifer gasped, bucking back against Squall eagerly and squirming to get more contact, get his lover deeper, harder.
"Come with me." The younger man begged, his movements growing rough and ragged as he eased beyond the control that would have permitted him to prevent himself from hurting his lover.
Seifer's hands twisted in the sheets, a broken sound marking the start of the real fucking, the line of love and lust blurring until the point where he could no longer determine which he was feeling or why.
"Seif', now." Squall growled; his voice husky and heavy with exhaustion and pleasure. He wrapped his fingers around Seifer's cock to stroke him roughly.
"Squall!" Seifer called as he came, his body clenching around Squall's cock rhythmically as he came in long hot pulses, each tug of Squall's fingers to his sex seeming to send another wave of pleasure through his system. He barely registered Squall's wordless cry of pleasure as his lover came inside him, still moving mindlessly.
When he slumped to the mattress, he was practically boneless. He closed his eyes and hoped the room would stop spinning sooner rather than later.
When Squall finally slumped on top of him, whimpering quietly, he managed to speak despite fighting for his breath. "You're...really good... at that..."
"So much for that exit only sign." Squall's voice whispered breathlessly in his ear, snickering softly.
"Don't let it go to your head, squirt."
Deciding it was probably best to let the squirt pass unpunished this time, Squall nipped at Seifer's shoulder teasingly. "Which head?"
"Oh shut up and come here." Seifer chided as he arched his back to dislodge Squall. When the brunette fell to the bed beside him, he pulled him into a tight embrace, kissing him reverently. "That was amazing. I taught you well."
As the heel of his lover's hand rubbed small, soothing circles on his back, Squall allowed himself a brief moment of weakness, trembling like a leaf in Seifer's embrace and burrowing against him. With the heat of Seifer's body surrounding him so completely, and the pleasure still thick in his veins he could almost believe that this was normal, that he didn't have to go back.
"You know... after having you here with me, I can't imagine not having you." The blonde whispered, unaware that he was echoing Squall's thoughts almost word for word as he spoke. "I don't know how I stood being without you as long as I did."
It took him a while to find the courage to lift his head and stare into Seifer's loving green gaze. He almost didn't admit what he was feeling, hyper aware of the fact that Seifer had narrowed down everything that Squall had wanted to say to him and spoken it before he'd found the strength to himself. "I was just thinking the same thing."
As Seifer traced the delicate lines of Squall's features, exploring his cheek bones and the curve of his jaw, Squall closed his eyes, just loosing himself in the tender touch and the gentleness of his strong lover. "I don't know what to do to show you how serious I am about you." Seifer admitted, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
"You just gave yourself to me. I don't think you get more serious."
"I gave myself to you way before tonight. I just don't think you ever really knew it, I don't want you to ever wonder."
Unable to bring himself to correct Seifer when he'd said something so... sweet, Squall simply smiled and puzzled silently for a while. He loved Seifer so deeply he couldn't bring himself to imagine what would happen if he were to lose him, though he knew it was a very real possibility given his job and his home. Eventually, he opened his eyes to watch Seifer as he asked "Do you wonder?"
Seifer shrugged nonchalantly. "I try not to imagine your leaving. I don't think you would." When he felt Squall grow tense, one hand balling into a fist at his side, Seifer paused, worried. He felt the sigh in Squall's body even though it never left his lips, becoming attuned to his lover's body language. "Squall? Would you?"
"You can't get rid of me now." Squall shook his head in a tumble of dark chocolate locks that hid his eyes from Seifer's view and prevented him from seeing the pain in Squall's eyes. "I just... I'm stationed at Balamb, don't forget that."
"If you have to go back, I'll understand." The blonde murmured into Squall's hair, his strong arms tightening around Squall as though he'd somehow be able to keep his lover right there forever if he just held on tight enough.
"I do."
"I'm going with you."
If Squall's body had been tense before at the prospect of leaving, suddenly it was so rigid Seifer feared it would snap. "...you'd do that?"
The doubt in Squall's voice was nothing short of amusing and Seifer couldn't still a laugh, though a somewhat humourless one, escaping him. "That's what I meant when I said serious, baby."
Seifer, in Balamb. For him. He didn't want that. He didn't want to pull Seifer back across the sea after he'd gotten out from under Balamb's shadow. He didn't want to make him leave whatever his life was in Deling city any more than he wanted to remain in Balamb himself. "I could get a transfer to Galbadia Garden."
"Is that what you want?" Seifer asked, cupping his chin and drawing his thumb over squall's lower lip curiously.
No, it wasn't what he wanted. At that precise moment, the only thing he really wanted was to hide in bed with Seifer for the rest of his life, but it wasn't an option. Transferring and getting away from Balamb would be the next best thing but he didn't want to talk about it anymore. "Can we talk about something else?"
"Let's talk about how much I love you." Seifer grinned and stole a languid kiss from his lover.
"Let's talk about the thing living in your fridge." Squall countered, nudging Seifer gently.
"Let's talk about how much my ass hurts."
"Oops." Squall at least had the decency to look sheepish, even if the smile he wore grew even more smug. He curled his fingers with Seifer's silently watching his lover avidly. There was no doubt in his mind that he would do that again now; he already wanted to be inside his lover again.
"Just trying to distract you." Seifer laughed, rolling onto his back and pulling Squall on top of himself. He looped his arms around the still too slender waist and swore to himself he'd feed up his lover. Or rather he'd make Squall feed them both up rather than risk his own cooking again. "Did it work?"
"Seifer, it winked at me. The thing in your fridge, not your ass."
"I don't care about that." The blonde snickered softly.
"And you do know the point of a sink is to actually wash plates, not dump them in there and leave them for months, right?" Squall asked. His fingers found the ticklish spot on Seifer's side and manipulated it mercilessly, until Seifer slapped his hand away.
"How can you think about my refrigerator after an orgasm like that?" Seifer asked, wrapping his fingers tightly around Squall's wrist and holding him to protect himself from further attacks.
"Because I'll have to cook for you later." Squall frowned, almost pouting.
Years before, he'd have teased Squall for that look, now he simply found it even more endearing. It made him want to wrap Squall up in his arms and protect him almost as much as seeing him that first night had. Of course, he'd tease him later, when they were both fully clothed and he wasn't starting to believe he could take Squall again before he passed out. "Meh, take out, cub, remember?"
With a soft, amused sound the brunette shook his head. "You think I'm going to let you out of this apartment now I can actually have sex with you? Be glad you're not tied to the bed." Squall paused and realised how appealing that particular thought was. He filed it away somewhere in his mind for future consideration.
"Incidentally..." Seifer murmured as he rolled them both over, insinuating himself between his lover's legs and looking incredibly arrogant as he rubbed his hardening cock against Squall's skin gently. "Think I'm getting my second wind."
"Wouldn't that be your third wind?"
"I don't count what happened before we came to bed. That's something..." Seifer's fingers sought and found the bottle of lubricant. Preparing Squall roughly, feeling the already abused body clutch at his fingers eagerly as Squall's legs encircled him, Seifer couldn't help a moan at how tight Squall was still. "That's something else entirely."
Squall simply shook his head, rocking onto Seifer's fingers eagerly, as though he never wanted to stop. "Awkward bastard." He hissed through gritted teeth, his body undulating in pleasure.
"Gods, you're still so tight..." The taller man husked, kissing his lover hard and deep as he rocked the fingers roughly. "Every time, it's just like before. The first time... remember?"
Briefly, the mask gave way and Squall regarded Seifer with a look of utter sorrow. His memory still hadn't recovered from the guardian forces, and he could barely remember their first time, just snippets of images that made him shudder with pleasure. "Memory never recovered." He whispered, hiding his emotions again as quickly as he could. "Still have gaps."
Finally Seifer slid his fingers free of Squall's body and positioned himself against the brunette's opening. "I'll help you remember. It was perfect."
Almost laughing at his lover's words, Squall squirmed in a desperate need to have Seifer inside him again, trying to push himself onto the hard cock at his entrance. "You snuck into my room." He gasped, the memory of Seifer turning up without knocking as he'd just been getting undressed was fuzzy, and he was sure he'd attempted to order Seifer out of his room.
"Yes..." Seifer groaned, in response to Squall's statement or the tight heat that encased him as he slid into Squall's body, or perhaps even both. "You were so angry... at first."
With a weak moan of pleasure at the delicious friction that made his head spin, Squall pulled Seifer down on top of him. "Thought you were going to beat me up."
Suddenly they were kissing, Squall's lips sweeter against his than they had ever been. The thoughts of their first time, the brunette writhing on the bed almost in shock as he was abused with pleasure until he almost screamed, made Seifer's cock ache. "You were making me crazy, wanted you so bad."
A pale leg lifted to Seifer's shoulder as Squall spread himself ever wider in an effort to take the movements as deep into himself as he could, to feel Seifer moving so deep inside him he could no longer think and to simply feel his lover. "I don't..." His fingers tangled in the bed clothes, each deep, hard thrust coaxing a soft cry of pleasure from him
The memory of the first time had completely consumed the elder man, his quick hard movements just like that first time in a desperate effort to relive it. "I didn't know how much I needed you 'til then Squall."
"I was scared of you."
Wrapping his fingers around Squall's cock and tugging him firmly as he altered his angle to keep his movements teasing and gentle, Seifer paused, just long enough to sweep his tongue into the waiting mouth and taste him. "When I left you that night, I knew. I loved you." And though it had taken years to admit it to himself he had known, deep down inside where it was easier to ignore just how the quiet brunette made him feel and want and lust...
"Bastard!" Squall cried as he arched up, one hand flung over his head, his fingers tangling in his own hair. He rolled his hips incessantly, attempting to make that thick length press against all those places where he so desperately needed the contact. "Leaving when I was out... I thought you regretted it."
Of course Seifer had regretted it. In the days, weeks, months and years after the war he'd regretted it day in and day out, he'd missed Squall Leonhart like a limb. Like Hyperion. "Couldn't look at you." He whispered hoarsely against the curve of his lover's neck, shuddering as the brunette dragged blunt nails down his back hard. "Couldn't let you see, ah! Squall..."
"Fuck me, you bastard." Squall was beyond begging, arching and writhing against his lover, thrashing and just trying to get Seifer to move like he needed him to.
The only response this time were rough, urgent groans of pleasure that echoed from Seifer as he gripped Squall's ass, fingers biting into the soft pale flesh hard enough to leave bruises and he pounded into him, just like Squall needed. Just like he wanted. Squall's body was too sensitive to the movements to last too long, his skin flushing red as he suddenly arched against Seifer's body, crying out as he came hard between the tight press of their bodies.
Seifer muffled his own shouts against Squall's shoulder, biting the flesh hard enough to leave a mark as he came, still thrusting mindlessly into the almost too tight body. "Love you, cub." His voice was barely more than a whisper, his emotions too close to the surface for him to speak any louder for fear his voice would break.
"You too." Squall replied with a weak smile, sweat beading on his forehead. "Couldn't let me see what?"
He considered that as he slid out of Squall's body and curled up with his lover. He'd thought it had been a sign of weakness at the time, that he'd give Squall some sort of power over him and he didn't want that. Seifer wanted to be strong to prove he was worthy of Squall, not be his...
His lap dog.
Seifer almost chuckled at the thought as Squall pulled him close and tucked Seifer's head under his chin. "See how you affected me." He admitted at last. He liked the position, the way Squall's chest felt under his cheek, the way he could feel every beat of Squall's heart.
"I won't tell anyone." Squall offered softly, his fingers playing with Seifer's blonde locks restlessly.
"The only one who matters already knows." By now his words were getting drowsy, his eyelids growing heavy from the warmth and the pleasure lying in his veins and Seifer couldn't help smiling to himself.
"No one would believe me, anyway." Squall sighed and kissed Seifer's hair. No response came as Seifer's breathing fell into an even rhythm and he fell fast asleep, cuddled against his lover. Just a little rest, Squall could let him sleep for a while after their escapades.
As Squall moved carefully to enable him to see Seifer's face as he slept, he couldn't resist one last kiss against the sweat dampened spun gold of Seifer's hair and he sighed. It wasn't a sad sigh, just one of a man resigned to his fate. "No one would believe me if I said you were cute, either." He whispered.
And he could have sworn Seifer smiled in his sleep.
I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and continue to enjoy the remainder of the fic. Please leave me a review if you have the time.