Crawling
By Mikata
Author's Notes: The sequel to "Sean Olsen." Actually, I hadn't planned on a sequel, but now, this bloated monster has spun out of control, spawning a collection of stories that may or may not be too ambitious to partake. Wait. since when has that stopped me?
Crawling
By Mikata
Quistis turned away from the group and stared out of the floor-length windows of the conference room, unable to watch the reactions of her companions.
"No." Rinoa breathed, not even aware that she had spoken.
Zell flopped onto one of the couches, putting his restless hands on his knees. "I never really liked the guy, but no one deserved _this_." he said, his face pale and drawn.
"How horrible." Selphie said, looking down at her feet. There was a long, brutal pause, and the silence threatened to choke each and every person until they drowned within it.
"I met him when I was 16." Rinoa looked up at the ceiling as she pulled her legs to her chest. "I thought it was love."
"I've met so many hard-luck cases, but Seifer was beyond troubled." Quistis said quietly, not looking away from the window. Squall's throat tightened. He looked up at his team with an unreadable expression. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Instead, he stood up and walked out the door.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Squall tore down the hallway angrily, ignoring the puzzled looks of the people there.
/I'll put a stop to this idiocy. I'll find Seifer NOW./
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real.
"Hey, Squall, wait!" Zell called after him, his sneakers squeaking as he gave chase. Squall ignored him, knowing full well that the blond couldn't understand subtlety of any sort. Sure enough, after a moment's passing, the squeaking sneakers finally caught up with him. Zell reached out and placed a restraining hand on Squall's shoulder.
Squall hissed involuntarily as Zell's strong fingers came to rest on an abused part of his flesh. He turned to face the shorter boy, allowing irritation to slide across his normally placid features.
"What is it?" He asked, hoping his voice conveyed the depth of his animosity.
"Look, you kinda' ran out on us, and all. I was wondering what was up." Zell said, fidgeting, as though he was unsure of what to say.
Apparently, he hadn't managed to personify his aggravation to the level that he felt it.
Or Zell didn't care.
Whatever.
"Leave me alone, Zell. It's none of your business."
Zell scoffed. "Like hell it isn't! I'm your friend, whether you like it or not! I only want to help you. Believe it or not, I actually care about how you feel." Zell's eyes trailed away from Squall's, and stopped on his jaw and neck. They grew wide, taking in the angry purple bruises that ran across the pale skin.
"Squall-"
"It's none of your business!" With a contemptuous shove, Squall threw Zell off of him, and continued to run down the hall, and out of the Garden.
There's something inside me
That pulls beneath the surface.
He ran across the empty plains that surrounded the Garden, no particular destination in mind. His eyes constantly scanning the land around him, until the Garden was just a small black dot on an earthen ground, covered by a piecemeal gray sky. He turned to stare at it, his eyes full of disgust, then, turning back towards the ocean, he walked along the shore. He pressed his battered lips in a thin line as he set his eyes on the horizon, the endless shore, the waves reaching fruitlessly towards the sand, and returning, and reaching again. Squall kicked a clump of sand aimlessly. It was a faint hope, but it was a hope nevertheless. Something inside of the back of his subconscious told him that Seifer had always loved the beach. It was a mystery to him; why he could say that about his arch rival, whose sole entertainment seemed to be only the misery of others.
/It's not like I really spent time trying to get to know him. Seifer is. just Seifer./
Squall turned to stare out at the ocean again. A storm was coming, he could see the thunderheads far off above the frothy green waves. He stared out at the ever darkening clouds challengingly.
Consuming.
Confusing.
"Looking for someone out there, Squall?" Squall jarred himself from his musing, and whirled around to face the speaker.
Seifer elicited a cocky grin and a tip of his head in greeting. He chuckled, looking down at the sand, his arms folded across his chest, his body bent slightly forward.
"I've been standing here for God knows how long, Squall. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were ignoring me." He looked up again, and wagged a finger mockingly. "But I know you. You're too busy entertaining yourself inside your head."
Squall stood where Seifer had found him, glaring mutely. "Did you come here looking for me? You look like you want to say something out loud." Seifer laughed. "Did you come back for-" Squall, unable to take Seifer's blustering any longer, took a swinging hook to the side of Seifer's neatly groomed face.
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
Controlling.
"Fuck!" Seifer stumbled sideways, clutching his cheek. Squall turned on Seifer again, chambering his leg up for a kick. Seifer grabbed the ankle as it flew towards his crumpled midsection, and twisted it upwards. Squall stumbled backwards, and Seifer his foot away from him, letting him fall gracelessly halfway in the water. He staggered to his feet, ducking a careless swipe of Seifer's leg. He stood, his hair dripping with salt water. With a snarl, he dove at Seifer again, his fists flying. One was caught by a strong hand, but the other found it's home against Seifer's gut. Seifer doubled over, wheezing. He dragged Squall down with him, holding him down with his superior weight. There was a pause as the two glared at each other in contemptuous silence, locked together.
"You don't care about anyone, do you?"
I can't seem
To find myself again
"What?" Seifer asked, taken aback by the bluntness of Squall's question.
"You don't, do you." This time, it wasn't a question, his voice almost pained and saddened.
Seifer grabbed Squall's pendant, dragging their faces closer. "Just what is that supposed to mean?"
Squall snorted. "You say that I'm the one who doesn't understand human beings, that I'm not the one living with the rest of humanity, but you Seifer. to think that even I noticed that people were worried about you, and upset that you were 'executed.' You've broken Rinoa's heart. You made Selphie sad. Quistis feels personally responsible for your death. Even Zell was upset." Squall paused, looking meaningfully at Seifer. "You have no idea." Seifer's face drained of color, then began to redden. He wrenched Squall closer, their faces almost touching.
"What the fuck do you think you know about feelings?" He asked bitterly.
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence,
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.)
He turned to look out at the sea, or at the bluffs in the distance, or towards Garden, anything to avoid looking back at Squall. Squall gently pulled himself out of Seifer's clutches, and looked back at him questioningly.
I've felt this way before.
So insecure.
"What?" Seifer asked harshly, still looking out at everything else.
Squall reached a hand up cautiously, as if afraid of being bitten, and stroked a cheek with gloved knuckles. "You're. you're crying."
Seifer whirled around to face Squall, his features contorting into rage. "I am _not_ crying!"
"But-" Seifer wrenched Squall's hands away from his face, crushing the delicate bones of his wrist in his grip. Seifer's gaze was hard on Squall, his mouth twitching with the words he left unsaid.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Seifer pulled Squall against his chest, working on impulses that he was at a loss of controlling. Squall felt so warm there, pressed against him, as though he belonged there since forever. He leaned down and laying his lips against Squall's, tenderly kissing him as his arms wound tightly around him.
Fear is how I fall.
Confusing what is real
Squall put forth a weak resistance, pushing his fists against Seifer's chest, before giving in to Seifer's lips against his, pressing his lips against his. The wind whipped around them, bringing in the ocean storm and it's rain over them. The waves crashed against their legs, trying to pull them out to the sea with it. The rain began to flood over their heads and shoulders, making the gales from the billowing surf all the more biting against their heated skin.
Discomfort endlessly has put itself upon me.
Distracting.
Seifer pulled away from Squall at the first of the drops of rain fell upon them. He looked back at the other person standing before him, his hair wet and plastered to his skull, his fur collar cemented to his neck, his pale skin goosepimpling under his heavy wet clothes. A bolt of lightning from behind Seifer lit up the sky and Squall's eyes, midnight blue, edging on black, as they had been on their last encounter in Squall's bed.
Reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection.
Seifer grabbed Squall roughly by the arm, and started running further inland, half-dragging Squall behind him. Squall followed unwillingly, his feet half trailing in the sand. Seifer looked back, his face appearing haggard and irritated in the pale cast of the jagged flashing strokes of lightning. His voice was only faintly audible over the cacophony of the thunder.
"Come on!"
Still, Squall's legs refused to move.
"Do you want to get zapped out here!? Hurry up!"
Squall tried to move his legs, but they felt like rubber from somewhere in his thighs on down. He tried to take a step, but began to weave, his legs feeling unsure. With a sigh, Seifer scooped Squall up into his arms, and continued to run down the beach.
Squall looked up at Seifer's face, strong and pale in the darkness, illuminated only by the flickers of lightning. "Where are you taking me?" He asked, the thoughts that he shouldn't be allowing his enemy take him away, and that he might want to fight back beginning to enter his mind.
Seifer looked down at Squall for a moment, then shook his head in exasperation and continued to hurry across the wet, dimpling dunes. Squall turned his gaze away from Seifer for one moment, to look in the direction they were headed. Close to one hundred yards away, a shimmering silver Sports Utility Vehicle was parked just inside of the beach fence that protected the beach grass from feet and erosion. Seifer scurried across the sand, finally reaching the trunk. Opening the door wide with his free hand, he threw Squall in, and crawled in after him, slamming the door shut on the storm from the sea.
It's haunting
How I can't seem
Squall lay back on the carpeted floor of the car, staring at the light on the ceiling until it went out. The two rearmost seats had been taken out, and on the floor, pillows, blankets and an unzipped sleeping bag were strewn about in the back portion of the car. Hyperion's case was resting against the front passenger seat. The interior smelled of stale fast food, the fresh seaside, and Seifer's own collection of smells. Squall could tell that he had been living in this car for awhile, probably not having left it some nights while he was on his way here.
Seifer placed a warm hand on Squall's shoulder. "Get undressed." His voice was without inflection, nearly in a monotone. Squall just turned and stared with incredulity as Seifer began peeling his own clothing off his body. Then he became aware of how very cold it was inside the car.
To find myself again
My walls are closing in.
(Without a sense of confidence,
I'm convinced that there's too much pressure to take.)
Seifer freed himself of his clothing, and threw them across the car, where they landed on the dashboard. He grabbed Squall, and began undressing him forcibly. Squall reacted without thinking, lashing out against Seifer, struggling against his hot, radiant body. With a smirk, Seifer leaned his face down to meet with Squall's lips once more.
I've felt this way before.
Squall gave up in Seifer's arms, in his warmth, as the wet clothing off of him was wrenched from his body, and was thrown carelessly across the car to join Seifer's clothing, breaking the kiss as he pulled his tank top up over his head.
Now both naked, Seifer pulled a nearby blanket around them, and situated Squall between his legs, his back against his broad chest. One hand snaked transversely across his chest, toward his navel, his other pulling one of Squall's arms sideways, turning Squall to face him.
So insecure.
Seifer's fingers feathered over old bruises, reminding Squall that this whole thing, being anywhere with Seifer, with Seifer touching him like this, was wrong. Suddenly, the desire to run away, completely naked or not hit him like the waves pounding on the shore outside. Again, he struggled in vain, trying to get away from this feeling, this bad touch. Seifer was like a stone cliff; immovable and steadfast. He pulled him more roughly, yanking him close. His free hand pushed against Squall's hip violently, trying to shove them in the same direction as the upper half of his torso. His fingers sliding themselves into the bruise that he had made scant days before. He pressed hard, prompting Squall to wince.
"You're mine. Never forget that." He whispered into his ear.
Squall remained silent, his hips finally rolling over, straddling one of Seifer's thighs. Against one of his own, he could feel hardness. Seifer leered at him, pulling his other leg so that Squall's body now completely straddled his own.
Crawling in my skin
He pulled their bodies closer, crushing Squall to his body. His mouth descended greedily upon the already ravaged flesh of his neck and shoulders as he rubbed himself against Squall, who began to respond in kind. His head fell back, his delicate, plundered skin open for Seifer to capture between his teeth and to whip with his tongue.
These wounds
Reaching blindly for the passenger side door nearest him, he pulled out a small tube from the map compartment at the bottom. Deftly, he unscrewed the cap with one hand, and applied its contents liberally to his fingers. He leaned forward, and again, Squall tried to fight this change, using what little bit of leverage he could to make it a little more unpleasant for Seifer to lie down upon him. Regardless, Seifer laid himself down on top of Squall, forcing Squall on his back. His reddened lips reached down and met with his again, catching the bit of flesh between his teeth. He pinched Squall's nipples between his fingers with one hand, his other snaking undetected down towards his entrance.
They will not heal.
Seifer thrust a finger inside, without warning, pushing it in until it reached it juncture with his palm. Squall cried out, the violation burning his inner walls. He pulled his body back, pulling away from the invasion. Seifer's free hand clapped down on his shoulder, holding him down, as the finger inside of Squall curled ever so slightly, moving against his prostate. Squall fell back against the pallet Seifer had made on the floor, his spine arching upwards. Seifer's eyes drifted off of Squall's face; his pale skin, flushed into a deep dawn-tinted blush across his smooth cheeks, his eyes, smoky and dark like the sky outside, his eyelids fluttering open and closed with black eyelashes like black butterflies, never in the same place. His mouth was like a dark, lush, open wound, his lips the color of blood, and his tongue, lingering in the darkness beneath his white teeth. His eyes drifted down across Squall's body, to the burgeoning hardness nestled between his legs.
Something inside his soul leapt, and he turned his eyes back to Squall.
With as little warning as with the first time, Seifer slid another finger deep within him.
Fear is how I fall
Seifer thrust his fingers in and out, preparing Squall. He looked back towards him, catching his eyes. The noises in the car seemed so very loud, amplified by the feelings inside. The rain made little staccato vibrations that thrummed into the car. Their mingled breathing, their cries for completion, and over it all, the ocean, pounding the surf in the distance.
Never taking his eyes off of Squall, he sheathed himself deep within him.
Confusing
Squall and Seifer cried out together as Seifer buried himself deep within Squall. He wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller man beneath him, and he began to move, pulling himself in and out, his speed increasing as he neared completion. His strokes entered savagely, their aim unfailing. He leaned down, and pressed his face against Squall's neck, breathing in, tasting his skin.
Confusing what is real.
Squall came quietly. A sigh escaped his quavering lips, as his essence shot out across their stomachs. Seifer came, unable to hold himself in as the muscles in Squall's inner walls constricted against him. His cries of completion were buried in Squall's bruised flesh.
Then came the silence. The rain had stopped, and the ocean was pacified, and lapping unheard in the distance. Even their ragged breathing had stopped, if only for a moment, before it, and the time they had left behind began again.
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface.
Squall stared out of the window of the car. It had been awhile since they had gotten changed, and Seifer had offered to give him a lift back to Garden. So far, It had been silent in the car. He had been mostly staring out the window at the barren ground around them, though occasionally sneaking glances at Seifer. Seifer, had been clearly doing the same thing, looking back at Squall every so often, but both averted their eyes if they ever chanced to meet.
"Squall."
The silence had been broken finally. Squall turned his gaze back to Seifer, who was steadfastly watching the land in front of them.
"Seifer?" He asked softly.
"Don't go to Deling."
Squall stared at him blankly, not understanding Seifer's meaning.
"Why?"
Confusing what is real
"I don't want you there."
"What are you talking about? I don't understand."
Seifer took his eyes off the trail, and looked over at Squall, deep sadness in his eyes.
"When you see me again, I'll be a man. I won't be a boy like you anymore."
Squall glared at him, resenting, yet not truly understanding his words.
"I am no boy." He said, almost sullen.
"You are too still a boy." Seifer said. "So am I. But these are my last hours. Like in _Peter Pan_, when Wendy had to be a grown up. This is _my_ last night in the nursery."
Squall didn't understand what Seifer had meant then, but something was clearly bothering him. Something about Deling City.
They rode the rest of the way in silence once more.
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending.
Seifer stopped a short distance away from the Garden.
"Here. This is as far as I go. Now hurry up, you wouldn't want the Chicken to get overcooked being worried sick over you." He reached his hand out and rested it on Squall's thigh, and looked at him meaningfully as though he wanted to say something more.
Squall stepped out of the car, and watched it speed away, in the direction of the city until it was gone. He turned to look at the Garden, and started walking towards it, sorting out his feelings as he left the ocean, and Seifer, behind him.
Confusing what is real.
...
*Important Note for people reading this on Noire Sensus* I accidentally edited out the original credits/disclaimers for the work that preceded this, named Sean Olsen, and I'll say right now (because I know I'll forget when I post this up, and I figure that I'll delete the credits for this one, too) that "Crawling" is by Linkin Park, and "Sean Olsen," the story that comes before this one, is by KoRn, for those who didn't know. So far, I have at least two more fics in this arc in mind, and probably more after that, but that's probably far down the road. The next one will be written around "Do What You Have to Do," by Sarah McLauglin, and the next. I uh, haven't decided, perhaps "Ava Adore" by the Smashing Pumpkins. I'll think about it later, when the other one is closer to being done. Yeah, whatever. As if people actually read this shit, anyway.