Fifth Avenue
Part 8 - Emotions
Disclaimers: I wish I owned the characters and songs I will use but alas I don’t so I’m poor.
Warnings: maybe AUish, shounen-ai, yaoi, so if you don’t like that stuff, leave now! Squall+Seifer, SelphiexIrvine, dancing/grinding, and LOUD MUSIC!!!
You want any notes? They change with postings, so go back and read the rest!! ^_^
<blah> - lyrics
~~~ - slight change of POV or characters (if any)
****** - flashback (if any)
~*~*~ - scene/time/day change (if any)
Fifth Avenue
Part 8 - Emotions
Squall had been nervous ever since the last club outing. He couldn’t even speak to Seifer. ‘Hmm,’ and “whatever,” were all he really said. Thank Hyne he could act, albeit stoically, but he was thankful that he could keep at least a somewhat cool exterior.
For some reason, he couldn’t stay in the same room with the blond for five minutes, and it was starting to scare him. He didn’t understand. Why was this happening to him? His heart would pound like crazy and all of a sudden he couldn’t breathe. It was scaring the shit out of him.
<Can we forget about the thinks I said when I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what was said or what you threw at me>
Why did I do that? Squall wondered as he slouched down onto the couch, thankful that Seifer was now with his father. I didn’t mean to push him away. He was just messing around.
<Please tell me
Please tell me why>
We were just joking around like normal guys. But why couldn’t I play along right away? Why was I so scared at first? Squall rubbed his face and let it fall onto the coffee table with a thump.
<My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you're gone>
I wish he were here so I could ask him. “But,” Squall said aloud. “I’d probably chicken out. I wish he were here, yet I want him to stay away… WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!” Squall pounded the table with his head and fists, cracking the glass of the tabletop.
<It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me>
“Damnit. That’s going to annoy dad.” Squall traced the crack splitting the table in half. He’d broken the table a couple times before, fighting and wrestling with Zell. It was getting monotonous. But… as Squall’s finger ran the crack’s length, he realized it was the mirror image of his scar, or the likeness of Seifer’s scar.
<The smoke alarm is going off and there's a cigarette
Still burning
Please tell me why>
He imagined the tabletop was Seifer’s face and stroked the flaw. He stopped abruptly, realizing what he was doing. He pulled his hand away like the glass was boiling water. He stared at his hand in disbelief and shock, and then frowned in determination. He stood and went straight to his room, retrieved Lionheart and went outside.
<My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you're gone>
Once out back, he began to practice, trying to get the blond out of his thoughts. It didn’t work. This just made him even more frustrated, wanting his rival there, to fight against. He threw his jacket off.
<Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night>
Swing after swing, Squall put all of his energy behind each stroke, letting his mind drift as the moves came naturally. His sweat-soaked shirt also came off.
<And you’re gone>
Why?
He pivoted.
Why?
His swing connected with a tree.
Why cant I get him out of my head?!
Squall left the blade embedded in the trunk halfway and fell hard onto his knees, breathing heavily.
<It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me>
Why did it have to be him? He punched the ground, losing it. Of all people, my best friend, the one I trust the most now. Why did I have to fall for him? Squall gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, his tears betrayed him and fell to the ground. “Idiot!”
<Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that>
~~~
Seifer strolled through the threshold of the household he’d been living in for way too long now.
<I've been stealing
Time where I can get it from>
He felt like calling it home, but didn’t know if that was right, so he just shrugged and shut the door. He glanced around as he slipped his coat off, wondering where his counterpart was.
<I've been losing
Grip on what I used to hold>
Squall had been acting weird since their last outing. Seifer attributed it to his developing theory that Squall had a thing for him, but he wasn’t totally sure. You could never tell with Squall; he was always so quiet and introverted when by himself.
Since the club, he’d caught the brunette stealing glances at him all the time. But he never stayed around for very long. These actions kept Seifer on edge, feeling like he’d done something wrong.
<If I could get another chance
I'd put it in a Ziploc bag
And keep it in my pocket
Keep it in my pocket>
The blond slipped his shoes off and padded through the house, searching for his rival. He didn’t find anyone in the living room, and proceeded to the kitchen.
<Tell me
When I start to blow it
Would you show me
What I need to do
Before you hate me>
Seifer glanced around and almost left when he caught something outside of the window from the corner of his eye. It was a flash of metal. He approached the window to see the man in question practicing his gunblade moves.
Seifer frowned. Why would he practice now?
<I could never live with that so
Tell me
Before you're better off without me>
He watched as Squall expended what little energy he had left and suddenly stabbed his blade halfway through a tree trunk.
<I've been watching you
Sleeping with a troubled look>
Seifer opened the window as Squall let go of the hilt and sank to his knees. A sheen of sweat covered Squall’s back and Seifer frowned again. He shouldn’t be out there in the cold like that. He shook his head and began toward the door as he heard the unmistakable sounds a muffled sobs. He looked back out the window to see his rival’s body shutter from the cold and actions.
<I'm sure your bad dreams
Are probably all about me
And better off without me>
Seifer decided. He was about to throw the door open and realized he needed his shoes. The blonde cursed himself as he retrieved his shoes from the other door and went out the back for Squall.
“Idiot,” he heard Squall curse.
“Hey,” Seifer chided and Squall turned in surprise. Seifer had been right, wetness was flowing down those porcelain cheeks. He stopped in pure adoration for his rival’s beauty, even when crying.
<If I could get another chance
I'd put it in a Ziploc bag
And keep it in my pocket
Keep it in my pocket>
Fear crept across Squall’s face and Seifer backed off to pick up the discarded clothing. “You better get inside before you get sick.” He carefully pulled Lionheart out of the tree. Holding all the objects in one hand, Seifer held his other out to the brunette. Squall stared at the hand like it was a snake about to lash out. Seifer sighed.
“I don’t bite. I promise.” This got through to the mute boy and he took the proffered hand. Squall’s palm was bitter cold to Seifer’s warm hand, but nevertheless, he hauled Squall inside and sat him on a chair at the kitchen table. As he returned with a blanket, he noticed his rival getting very antsy.
<Tell me
When I start to blow it
Would you show me
What I need to do
Before you hate me>
Seifer wrapped the soft blanket around a stiff body, not just from cold, but also from something else.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” came the quiet reply.
“You don’t look okay.” Seifer kneeled in front of Squall, who looked off to the side. What was with him tonight? “Hey, Hey! Look at me.” The blond grabbed Squall’s chin and made it face him. Although forceful, Seifer was gentle. He took his hand from the chin and wiped the tears away with it. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” Squall closed his eyes and faced the floor, a pained look on his face.
“Don’t know?” Seifer asked as his rival shook his head. “Does it have to do with you avoiding me?” The brunette nodded. Now I’m even more confused. Seifer bit his lip and wondered what the hell to do.
He then, cautiously, put his arms around Squall and pulled him into a soft embrace, sealing him in a hug, keeping him warm. Squall reacted by wrapping his arms around the blond. They were cold through Seifer’s shirt.
“You don’t need to tell me Squall. I’m your friend. I’m here for you no matter what.” Seifer said stroking the brunette’s hair, wondering what troubled his rival.
<I could never live with that so
Tell me
Before you're better off without me>
Like the angst? ^_^ hehehe…
Songs used: My Own Worst Enemy and Ziplock by Lit.
I own none of these songs; they belong to their respective writers and singers.