Bring Me Home
Chapter Nine - Breathing
By tir-synni
Author's Notes: Eee...This story just doesn't want to be written! But, hey!, least I finally got a part out. Everything's going to start speeding up. Angst ahead! Emotional!Blank. Short, I know, but like I said, I'm having problems with it. Remember, please review! Your reviews help a lot. I'm interested in how you view this part, and if it matches any of your theories from earlier. Enjoy!
Bring Me Home
Chapter Nine - Breathing
By tir-synni
Zidane's still unconscious, and none of Tantalus has returned. I thought they would be back quickly...but I also thought Zi would be back to his old self. I thought...I thought everything would be okay now. But I don't see the point in lying to myself anymore.
Zidane's dying. Just like Kuja was, Zidane's dying. Was Kuja dead now? Was that why Zi had returned when he did? Did he see Kuja die, and realize that was his fate? Did he return to spend his last hours with his family? Tears slide listlessly down my cheeks. Only I'm here. I hope that's enough for you, Zi.
He lays quietly against me now, sleeping on my chest. His breathing has steadied. At least he's not in pain. That makes me feel better. I lean down and kiss his cheek. His skin is still a little hot, but much better than earlier. Morbidly, I find myself wondering how Kuja died. Did he die in his sleep? Was Zi holding him, like I'm holding Zidane now? Is Zidane going to die now, in my arms? I won't know until he stops breathing, will I.
I shake my head fiercely. If Zidane heard my thoughts right now, he would pop me one. "Tantalus never gives up!" he would snap, and his beautiful eyes would flash. But if I'm right.... Please, Zidane, wake up. Just humor me, all right. Wake up.
I rest my head against Zidane's white-streaked head. The words from one of Ruby's favorite romance/tragedy plays go through my head, and I can't help but sing them quietly.
"I've found a long way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do
When I get there...
Take a breath and hold on tight
And spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be...
I'm looking past the shadows in my mind
Into the truth and I'm
Trying to identify the voices in my head
God, I wish it were you
Let me feel one more time what it
Feels like to feel and
And break these callouses off of me one more time
'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside your door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah-ah...
I don't want a thing from you
I bet you're tired of me
Waiting for the scraps to fall off
Of your table to the ground...
'Cause I just wanna be here now...
'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah...
'Cause I'm hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside Heaven's door
And listen to you breathing
It's where I wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be...
Where I wanna be...."
My voice trails off, and I realize distantly that my eyes have closed. In our plays, when Ruby couldn't double her roles and Zidane would play a female part, I sang many a love song to him. I wonder if he ever realized how many were real.
I look down at the limp figure in my arms. I see him shivering lightly. Did I wake him? My thoughts are strangely idle as I finger his white hair. Will this be the last time he awakens? What will I do with him gone? Before, at least there was the chance he would return. Now, though....
"Zidane...." I whisper, then pause. He's dying in my arms, and I still can't tell him!
Zidane coughs weakly. I reach beside me to get a glass of luke-warm juice. I press it silently to his lips, and without opening his eyes, he drinks it.
"Blank," Zi rasps when I pull the glass away. His tail dances lazily against the sheets, and I stare at it so I won't see his eyes opening. "Blank...you still have...a beautiful voice."
Against my will, I smile. Always the charmer.
Zidane coughs again, and I have him finish the drink. When he speaks again, his voice his smoother. I still avoid his eyes.
"My story is almost done, Blank, so don't quit on me now," he orders. It takes all my willpower not to beg the same of him. "You'll understand soon. Let me finish."
I finally look down, and there's a look in his eyes I have never seen before. It's not the look of a dying man. His eyes burn with a strange new fire, and I blink.
When he begins again, his voice remains husky, but I concentrate on his words. Maybe they'll help me get through the night.
'Cause I want nothing more
Than to sit outside your door
And listen to you breathing....